De Lifte

Review: X-men 3

2006-05-27T16:37:00.000-05:00

When comic books turn into movies, there's always an element lost in translation, a storyline that gets touched upon, parts that get torn out or missed, or even completely ignored. It's part of the whole formula that makes it cater to broad audiences that don't read comic books, that always have fans of whatever series is coming to the screen upset that specific parts are left out.

And that's where X3 leaves me. When I'd heard that they were visiting the Phoenix story in this film, I wondered how exactly they would be able to fill a whole movie with the story, and not let most people down.

The basics of the story are covered, sure, but the character issue is there, that half of the things that would be important had they been signed on for more than three movies are completely and utterly tossed aside.

Now, I can live through that. But what I can't live through are the lines given to Halle Berry. She said she wouldn't sign on unless she had more lines, they say. It's funny, because the lines they've given her are almost exactly the kind of terrible one-liner cliches that she'd had throughout Catwoman, and I found myself shaking my fist every time she came to the screen.

So terrible, so very terrible.

On the other hand, there were some really great parts. Beast (Kelsey Grammer) was fantastic, Logan was great, Shadowcat (now that she has LINES!) was great, and Magneto was also fantastic. The rest of the characters were boring, silly, stupid, and not very much fun to watch.

This my friends, is the worst of the three movies. Plot flies by with nary too much weight, story lines don't develop very well, and some of the fight scenes are boring.

Sad to think that when I'd told people I'd seen this movie that I was more excited seeing the trailer for Snakes on a Plane, than actually talking about the movie.

*** of *****

Quickie album reviews

2006-05-14T15:48:00.000-05:00

I've been shit about updating this thing, so here's a little rundown of newer albums I've downloaded/purchased lately:

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium: I don't know why it took this long for me to completely realize, maybe I knew before just, was too focused on the music, but Anthony Kiedis is getting older and his lyrics still suck. What's with that? The music on this is tight. The band is awesome. Lyrics make me shake my head.

Tool - 10,000 days: Hey, that first song sounds like Schism! This album is good, but not great. It's okay, but it's not terrible. It's better than the last album, though, so that's good. Just not as fun to listen to like AEnima.

Secret Machines - Ten Silver Drops: I like them. They're pretty neat. The range that they show for almost stoner rock is even more cool. This album is good, buy it because you should. It's fun and mellow and good music to drive on the highway to (if I could drive).

The Raconteurs: Why aren't these guys on the radio more? This is a solid album, with solid songs, and a solid band. There's no filler here. All of the songs are great, and yet they're not that much played, and there's no attention to them (really) anywhere.

Peeping Tom: I've been waiting for a long time for Mike Patton's solo Project, and now that it's here (illegally), I'm happy. Not completely happy, but I think that's because I forget that he's trying to cater to a wider audience. He said somewhere that this is the closest he'll ever get to being mainstream again, and I can hear it. But it doesn't take away with all of the Patton-isms that are still there, that us fans know and love. Good album. Watch for him on Conan on May 26th, most likely playing the single Mojo.

Van Morrison - Pay the Devil: Old crooner sings old classics? I'm sold. Though I bought this for my dad, I still think it's pretty awesome.

Eagles of Death Metal - Death By Sexy: Catchy. Holy catchy. This is the kind of stuff you want to crank up on a weekend afternoon when you're sitting around with that attitude that makes you want to listen to old Chili Peppers. So I guess we've come full circle.

The loonies think they're taking over

2006-03-27T16:06:00.000-06:00

I was watching Television today, The New Music on Muchmusic to be exact, and they were talking to The Academy Is. The Academy Is was pointing out the obvious trends in music, and relating the music that they, and Fallout Boy are playing, akin to what Nirvana and Pearl Jam were making, and that the bands that are coming out like them now, are sort of making the new movement out of the (this is a rough quote) "Avril format songs", and the "Pearl Jam soundalikes". They're saying that they're breaking away from the machine and that they're somehow creating some new thing.

Here's my problem. First of all, if anyone says they're creating a trend, then they're probably already in the thing, they just don't realize it. Do you remember ever hearing any of the bands in the whole "Grunge" thing ever say to an interviewer "Hey, we're making this force in music that can't be stopped. Look out for us."? No. Because they were too busy making the music and not caring whether they were being labeled as the next big thing. They were there to play.

This band here says that they're going to change the style of music today, they're going to change up the radio and blah. That's a very big thing to say, considering that they're naming Fallout Boy as one of the main acts in the movement. Does that really, truly make sense? I could find about five other bands that are making the same music as both of these bands, because everything now in mainstream is a nice carbon copy of everything else. That's not a movement. That's what ends up creating a movement. That's what led to a shift in the early nineties, and all of the other times that mainstream needed a kick in the ass.

I guess they are kind of right, they're adding to the sludge that is current format-boring music, and in turn, at some point they'll be another name in the list of bands that got thrown to the wayside when this new musical goliath comes out of nowhere and shocks the industry.

Sure, we need it. And I'm glad they realize it, but bands like that are not it, because they're already fucking everywhere. What they have to do is realize it, and THEN they might actually help. Because right now, I'm more happy to say that I don't listen to the radio. Make the bands hear themselves and their clones. Make them wallow in it. Maybe someday they'll realize how their idea of new things was getting automatically tossed into the questionable pile.

Someday everything will be okay again, just for a little while, but right now is not it.

How to Confuse an audience part two.

2006-03-23T18:39:00.000-06:00

At one point a while back, I pointed out that in the same year, Hollywood somehow released three, yes THREE War of the Worlds, though the only one we had heard about was the Tom Cruise one.

Read that blog post here

And by golly, they're doing it again. After the success of Capote at the Oscars and etc, take a look at what I've found below. A comparison:

Capote(2005)
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Truman Capote
Catherine Keener - Harper Lee
Clifton Collins Jr. - Perry Smith

Plot Outline: Truman Capote (Hoffman), during his research for his book In Cold Blood, an account of the murder of a Kansas family, the writer develops a close relationship with Perry Smith, one of the killers.

=======================
Infamous(2006)
Toby Jones - Truman Capote
Sandra Bullock - Harper Lee
Daniel Craig - Perry Smith

Plot Outline: While researching his book In Cold Blood, writer Truman Capote (Jones) develops a close relationship with convicted murderers Dick Hickock and Perry Smith.

Del Toro To Play Wolf Man

2006-03-16T17:13:00.000-06:00

Traffic Oscar-winner Benicio Del Toro is set to play a classic movie monster in the big screen remake of The Wolf Man. The Sin City actor will star in and co-produce the new version of the horror film. Like the original film, which starred Lon Chaney Jr., the remake will be set in Victorian England. Se7en writer Andrew Kevin Walker has started working on the script for the film. Shooting is scheduled to begin early next year, once Del Toro completes work on the Che Guevara biopic Guerrilla. The film will be released in 2008.

Gee, that's great and all. He'll be great, but they'd better substitute an ending that isn't fucking terrible. The ending to the original Wolfman is number 3 on my top 6 most hated movie endings ever. These aren't like "sad endings" because a sad ending is a sad ending. These are endings that make me hate the whole movie. As I think of more I'll probably edit this thing, but these four made me want to throw stuff at my screen (number one is of course, the one that bugs me the most)

1. Mulholland Drive. As soon as it happened I said I would never watch another David Lynch movie. Honestly, I got it, yeah. When I tell people I hate it (my characters tell Naomi Wattses that they hate it!), they ask me if I get it as if I'm dumb. Yes, I get it. And I fucking hated it.

2. The Pledge. I guess it could be called irony, but why do you have to lay it on so fucking THICK? Come on now! That was absolutely horrible. It makes me grind my teeth when I think of it.

3. The Wolfman. The last line in the movie made me stare at it wide eyed and open mouthed. The resolution was nothing. The end result was terrible, and it makes me think of what the people thought of when it came out.

4. Unbreakable. I'm sorry, but I don't like M. And I will continue to dislike M., for his one trick pony-ness, but this was the first of his movies that I actually sort of liked. I wasn't and will never be a fan of his, if he continues the surprise ending thing, but I think this was his biggest let down, especially when they gave Samuel L. Jackson Sidney Poitier's line from In the Heat of the Night.

5. The Matrix Trilogy. You made me sit through all of this type of submerged religious content for that ending? For a fifteen minute death scene with Carrie Anne Moss? We out here in the trenches knew you two could do better than that.

6. Revenge of the Sith. Honestly now, I've said it before and I'll say it many more times, that the only redeemable quality about any of these movies, the new ones, is Ewan McGregor. And I know the ending was pre-determined and everything, but and maybe it's because I knew what was coming, and maybe this is more of a "I had to get through this to see this?" thing, but honestly, it was horribly boring. I guess you couldn't consider it an end, than a middle, but man, the class level in these is nowhere near where the "next three" are. I think I know what it is that made me hate it the most: The scene where he makes it seem as if Darth Sidious has just unleashed a Frankenstein lookalike.

The 24 post.

2006-01-16T21:44:00.000-06:00

So here's why I'm getting kinda bleh with 24. It's a great show, you know. But there's a trend here!

Season 1 (Presidential Issues): Everyone thinks Jack goes bad (Palmer assasination). He isnt. But he hides, does it all himself with proxies. They want to bring him in for questioning. He then has to convince them by proxy that he's good and it's someone else that's bad, proceeds to save world, but not wife. We're all sad.

Season 2 (Who's got the bomb): Everyone thinks Jack's bad. He hides from everyone but Tony and Michelle. People want to bring him in for questioning. Tony's kinda in charge, but not really. The three of them do it together and have to convince by proxy Jack is good, almost gives up life, saves world but not Mason. We're not as sad.

Season 3 (The Virus attacks): Everyone thinks Jack's kinda bad because of the Heroin. He's so rogue. Chase doesn't believe he's good. Tells everyone. People are dying from a virus in a hotel. Michelle too (maybe!) Jack has a proxy who helps. Saves world, chops off friend's arm, everyone loves him again, but Chase stumpy. No real sad here besides the death of the best character in the show (that isn't Jack).

Season 4 (Terrorists and turtle men): Sooner or later, Everyone thinks Jack's bad when he goes back on the job. He's even more rogue than last time because he's not a CTU guy, he works for the Turtle man who keeps saying Jack's ok, but Jack's lady friend doesn't know anymore. Jack killed lady friend's ex husband or something. There's torture, holy crap. Jack has a proxy because of terrorist crap from China and killing by accident. Works through proxy and finds the real problem, no help from Tony and stuff (bad pretending involved!). Has to run away. (The end)

Season 5 (People die a lot in ten minutes!): Jack has new life. People think he's bad already. Has a proxy who gets caught by the second episode. Spoilers for show say that he helps CTU again so that they can know he's good. He's gonna solve the problem, but not before he gets proxy back and goes dark to find real thing. Turtle man might come back. Lady friend from season four and annoying but hot daughter think he's dead. Love happens. Maybe tears. Proxy and Jack work together to find real problem. Maybe sexy girl from the L word who shook Palmer's hand in season two and kills girlfriend to get more money comes back and is as good as season 3's dead kickass character.

Favorite albums of 2005

2006-01-06T22:02:00.000-06:00

This was posted in my Livejournal a while ago, and I'd decided to post it here too, just for shits and giggles. It's my top 10 albums of 2005.

10.
Black Mountain - Self Titled
The Epitome of what I like to call slacker rock. Not that they're slacking or anything, but when you listen to them, all you do is sit around, nod your head to the beat and go "yeah, I'm doing nothing today". It reminds me of the good rock from the 70's, where you envision everyone wearing brown and having long beards.

9.
Caribou - The Milk of Human Kindness
It's the fun beats of this thing that make me happy. It's the same category as Black Mountain, only for the electronic-type stuff. Very good, melodic beats, not too hard on the ears. The kind of album that starts and finishes and you wonder why it went so fast. Such a smooth transition from track to track

8.
Metric - Live It Out
This album isn't near their first in the "Fucking unbelievable" area, but Live It Out connects good live. It's the perfect album for them to continue with their reputation for being a really good live band, and has some really, really good songs on here. There's some spots in the middle that get stuck, but the standout tracks are so awesome on their own.

7.
Emilie Simon - La Marche De L'Empereur
Considering the few songs I had of hers prior to this album, La Marche makes a giant leap into new territory for Emilie Simon. It ditches the silly happy straightforward pop, and instead goes all out happy electronic, with sweet beats and fantastic musical numbers mixed in with her child-like in cuteness voice. Turns out this was the soundtrack to that Penguin Marching movie and I didn't even know.

6.
General Patton vs The X-Ecutioners - Self Titled
Man, this album is so fun to put on at work, or listen to by yourself, because there's so much stuff to sit there and laugh at. Not that it's a comedy album, but by how many layers Patton can add in a so-called 'remix' album. He's got so many short tracks with extended names that rival Sufjan Stevens, and he seems in more of a top form here than in other spots, which makes me really antsy to hear his solo project Peeping Tom.

5.
The Most Serene Republic - Underwater Cinematographer
Downloaded at first to say "Hey, who's this band opening for Metric?", and then falling for how great all of the sillyness and happiness drilled into each song, and sometimes even, trying to find out exactly what each title has to do with each song. This band is fantastic live. They have everything that an up and coming band needs in a loud drummer, a crazy frontman, and a really good album that makes you happy, regardless of your actual mood, or the place, is a place is a place is a place is a place that you're in.

4.
Jaga Jazzist - What We Must
They never fail at amazing me, this group. I first caught them on a Bravo Video thing, and likened them to Cinematic Orchestra at first, and found that they're actually much more interesting. They have better beats, and more interesting songs. Their albums are consistently beautiful pieces of work, and they're all rather young, too. It makes me feel better for the future of music, bands like these. Big pieces of people together, working to make art out of their songs.

3.
Fantomas - Suspended Animation
Everyone thought for the longest time that Fantomas were at their peak during the whole "Director's cut" thing. But you know what? I think this is my favorite of their albums yet. A song for every day in April, and a corresponding calendar with some copies, this thing is never anything but fun, as long as you get it. If you don't, you're going to wonder why I sit at my desk giggling at all of the great pieces of sound mashed in with cartoons and people gurgling water. It's just a plethora of great things together to make an amazing album.

2.
Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
What can I say about this album that hasn't already been said? I'll quote myself so you can get an idea: By far and away this guy just can do anything with music and make me like it. I don't know what it is, it's just so fucking catchy, with the strangest song lyrics to accompany it. That he's able to sit down, study some place, and can then sit down again and write such beautiful compositions on his own and have you fall in love with every single note, that's amazing. Front to back, this thing just floors me. His terrifying lyrics about John Wayne Gacy, set to some of the most mellow acoustic music and fantastic background vocals make you not sure whether to smile or be sad.

1.
The Mars Volta - Frances The Mute
L'via L'viaquez was voted my favorite song of the year (that's right. I'll be posting that one here later, with a zip file for people do download my favorites), and this is my favorite album. You know the kind that you listen to so much that you start to recognize all of the patterns in things? That's this thing. It's a monster, a beast. And to think that at the start of the year I hardly even listened to the thing. It was the story that got me into it. It was everything surrounding the idea of one long, rambling story, and the fact that some parts of the album still give me chills, like when it comes out of a long meandering middle part and catches you off guard with some fantasticaly crunchy guitar riff and solo. It's fucking amazing. I'm going to love this album for a very, very long time. Unfortunately since I've kept all of the other songs hovering around three minutes or so, you're getting the edited version of the Widow, and not the one with two minutes of neat warped things at the end.

Let the man move on

2005-12-22T18:50:00.000-06:00

I'm not one to stir the pot (ha), but I do find something a little strange, and it all has to do with hockey. So stop reading if you don't want to read about people and hockey and team Canada.

The basics are simple: People are upset about Todd Bertuzzi being included on the team, because they think he projects a bad image to young hockey players. If you don't know what I'm on about, you obviously haven't seen This famous footage, depicting Bertuzzi sucker punching Steve Moore from behind, and then landing on him. Bertuzzi was found guilty of assault, and was given a year's probation , and he was suspended from NHL (and some Olympics) play until August 2005. At that point, the NHL even sat down to talk about whether he should be suspended for a longer period (because of the play stoppage of last year).

Meanwhile, Steve Moore suffered broken vertebrae and a concussion and has been unable to resume his career. He's since tried (and lost) to sue the Vancouver Canucks and Bertuzzi, in a civil suit.

So we've got all of that out of the way. Now, people who wanted Bertuzzi jailed for the incident are saying that he's a black eye on team Canada. I find a problem with that. Without even bringing up the background on how everyone's forgiven Ben Johnson's past record (wait, did I just do that?), I'd also like to give you another name on team Canada that's had even worse of a case than Bertuzzi.

Dany Heatley. Stew about that name for a while and ask yourselves what the difference is. I know it sounds terrible for me to say, but the bias is there. One was on the ice, the other wasn't. They've both had more of their share of support, and they've both had their nay-sayers. They're both playing fantastic for their teams right now, and trying to move on from where they've been, which could, in a sense both be described as acts that were low points in their lives. They're both still young. Give the people a chance to move on.

In Bertuzzi's case especially. As for Heatley, he was charged with vehicular homicide as a result of the crash that killed teammate Dan Snyder in 2003. He pleaded guilty to second-degree vehicular homicide, driving too fast for conditions, failure to maintain a lane, and speeding. He was sentenced to three years probation, and was given the full support of the Snyder family, even while others were skeptical of the whole situation. People have slowly started to concentrate more on how great he's doing this year.

But Bertuzzi still gets booed in many arenas, he still gets things thrown at him, and he still has more people on his back than any player I can remember seeing since Marty McSorley (swung his stick and hit Donald Brashear in the head with seconds left in a game. Brashear lost consciousness and suffered a Grade 3 concussion. McSorley was suspended for 1 year, and a jury found McSorley guilty of assault with a weapon. He was sentenced to 18 months probation), and that whole thing basically caused McSorley to retire due to the reaction from that.

We hold athletes in a different regard than celebrities, because a lot of kids are watching players of all sports. And everyone in the world suffers through some horrible event in their lives. Todd Bertuzzi, like Heatley is never going to forget what he's done. He'll probably live through it every single day. Isn't that enough?

Review: Walk the Line

2005-12-06T16:09:00.000-06:00

When my mother and father came home from this movie, I asked "How was it?", expecting the real deal from people who remember some of the events portrayed in this movie. Besides my dad's opinion of how great Joaquin Phoenix was, they basically didn't tell me too much besides that. On their word, I was thinking that it's probably going to be a great movie.

And so when I sat down with a friend to watch this movie, I was entranced by it. The performances of the main actors (Phoenix, Witherspoon), and a great supporting role with Robert Patrick were far and away the highlights of this movie, and merit going to see the film on just this.

But the problems with the movie are the timing. There's a whole slew of things that just didn't make sense, was put together in a fast-forward fashion, and some scenes completely pointless. In this, it reminded me of the Doors movie, which also had great acting by the leads and some of the cast, along with a very important childhood event, but overall, the plot was what killed it.

Don't get me wrong, Phoenix and Witherspoon save the plot enough because you're so entranced with their performances that most of it doesn't matter, but the fact that some of the other people are looked over (the Tennessee Two - and then Tennessee Three by far here, have no explanation), and some people are added to the movie for no specific reason (Waylon Jennings. Played by his grandson).

Basically you're getting the cream (and the dirt) of a five to eight year period in Cash's life (I'm not even discussing the children part) with no real conception of time, and no thorough glance at any specific song.

When you leave the theater and actually think about the film, you realize that they're basically just throwing things at you hoping they're going to stick, plot wise. And though a whole lot of it does, the overall feeling of it is not as good as I'd hoped.

*** of *****

Review: NIN/QOTSA/DFA

2005-11-20T10:00:00.000-06:00

I've always had a list of bands I've wanted to see before I'd decide to stop seeing big name acts at shows, or.. dying. Nine Inch Nails have always been on top of that list, since I started liking music, that I can remember at least. It took thirteen years to finally be able to see them, and it was well worth the wait.

First I'd like to inform everyone that the night before the show, the person who had my tickets had lost them. So, for two hours yesterday, I had been on the phone trying to see if Ticketmaster would give replacements. His life was on the line, and the gods said they still wanted him alive.

So we get to the show under bits of snowfall (which has since turned knee deep in some places), and sit down, poking fun at all of the weird goth kids in makeup, and one very amusing woMAN who looks like the main woman from Nosferatu (that Kat and I thought was a man). We were sitting around trashy cokeheads and a guy whose cellphone background was a big naked ass, too.

First up, Death from above 1979. This is the second time Kat and I had seen them live, but from this time around much closer. They were their usual batch of goodness, and I'm surprised at how well their two person show comes across in an arena. Just as powerful as if you were in an oversized club.

Then, Queens of the Stone age. Another band I've wanted to see live (and almost was able to see them in 1997 in a club), and they did their best to show off for the cameras they had around (apparently filming footage for a DVD). Most of the time, I was bopping my head to the music and gawking at how amazingly large Josh Homme is. I've heard he's tall, but he makes his guitar look like a children's toy. The only time he looked normal was when he was playing bass. It looked his size. Good set, especially poking fun at security. The last song they played had me envisioning Tetris pieces, because of it being on the Xbox when Kat and I swear at eachother, etc. That part didn't make sense, did it?

And then all of those years of waiting was up. The lights were still on when Pinion's recording kept slowing down to a fever pitch. I could just feel my teeth gritting as I was waiting for some sign of something. When Love is not enough started playing, this was it. They were hiding behind a big sheet covering, but it was them. Agh. They were tight. The whole show was as tight as I've ever heard bootlegs of or seen on DVDs, which I admit is kind of sad. I was jumping up and down for the first few songs giggling. I'm also not ashamed to say that one song just completely caught me off guard, and got me rather emotional. Kat offered her handkerchief. I was kind of embarassed and up until now I'm not. That was an emotional night for me. It wasn't so much sensory overload as everything overload. It was like being barraged with memories, or something. The band had neat visuals with strange screens that looked like .. I don't know what they looked like. It was just very, very cool. They put the curtain back down for Eraser, and through to Beside you in time, and had fantastic visuals. Some of insect closeups, some of people, and during Right where it belongs, had some very interesting morphing images. It was everything I'd hoped for, and even more. I was just awed the whole night and didn't want it to end. They of course didn't play an encore, which I was expecting. They .. don't do that. They just play longer and smash stuff.

There are a bunch of other things I'd love to write about, little specifics in a night with so much fantasticness that I'm never going to forget, but I won't. They lived up to my pre-show hype, and even more so.

The most unfortunate part was that Kat had to leave around Eraser, because the smoke the band was letting out was getting to her, and that made me sad. It's not cool when your concert partner leaves!

I'm pretty sure that this was what the setlist was. Catch me if I'm wrong:

Pinion
Love is not enough
You know what you are
Terrible lie
The line begins to blur
March of the pigs
Something i can never have
The frail
The wretched
Closer
Burn
Gave up
Eraser
Right where it belongs
Beside you in time
With teeth
Wish
Only
Even deeper
Deep
Suck
Hurt
The hand that feeds
Head like a hole

Fear and Loathing in Kansas City

2005-10-11T15:44:00.000-05:00

Or
Hawaiian shirts are an easy target.

Stay cool. Everything's figured out. We've got a day to day plan, with a whole truckload of photos and strange stories. It'll be on a non-point form basis with many, many links to many, many pictures. Getting at it is the easy part. Remembering specifics is not.

Wednesday

When you start off with a bunch of guys going on a trip, you tend to want to take a picture of everyone before you head out somewhere. The unfortunate thing for us was that it was snowing on the eight of us. Like devil-rays from up above telling us that it was the perfect time to go.

We hop in the trailer, and Eric, the old looking man behind me in the picture is our first driver. One problem with the whole deal is that the snow and wind are pushing the trailer into oncoming traffic and we're making terrible time by nightfall. Say 50mph up and down hills. They make smoke breaks after they search us at the border. Big man making jokes about weather shit. Smoke breaks turn into "hold the little guy!". People flying away, one eye open shit. Snow, snow, snow. All the way until morning. And the bumping of the trailer is cramping up the style of our Texas hold'em games on the table that are also impaired by our drinking.

So we move on to X-box and I learn quick that around these parts, one of the bastards goes by the route of never playing the game, and handily beating everyone. Thrown controllers and anger later, we're back to talking about the wind and the position of the driver's hands at 6 and 9 o'clock, instead of 9 and 12. Put your hands up and do it. Notice the amount of turn he was consistently putting into it.

The night ends in the morning of Thursday and I'm not sure how much sleep was actually begotten.

Thursday
Waking up to the sunrise in Kansas and seeing the track when you open your eyes is pretty fucking cool. Puts everything in perspective that you're actually here. So we get here, and decide that breakfast isn't good enough, let's do our first shopping at a hunting store. I ran around looking for hats that ended up being in the sixty goddamned dollar area, and then on my way out, had my first driver spotting when Ken Schrader walked by, but he was like a maniac on his cellphone and the best idea was for me to keep going.

After a bunch of weird crazyness, we ended up at a different mall.

If only I could tell you how much Kansas folk are really Kansas folk. How would I do it? Would a guy running the parking for trailers riding around in a golf cart with a gun rack work? Maybe. "Y'all from Canada? I got a friend up there. S'name's Red.. Red.. Aw.. Fuck.."

And then more shopping. A two tier mall with nothing in it save presents for myself in a tshirt and a girl i <3 back home. Then something weird happened. I was running/walking to come back and almost ran smack dab into a woman who could be considered a small time celebrity who said "Look out" quickly before anything could happen. I looked up and doubled back twice to make sure that I saw who I saw, and it was the height that confirmed my almost run-in with Callie Thorne, (Sheila in Rescue Me) but I didn't have time to chat and tell her that her sometimes whiny acting in Rescue Me was atrocious but cute. I was late for the trailer.

After un-packing, eating, talking about how shitty the weather was being in it's 60F-ness, and redneck gandering, the night ended with all of the bald men to Hooters, and the old men to the dog-race track and myself lying around falling asleep to the sounds of cars on the track and amidst some other non-mentionable thoughts.

Friday
Early breakfast happens after hours of sleep. Admiring the fog while eating. We leave to check out the Harley Davidson factory. Don't get in for tour. Hear a bunch of stories about bald men getting cut off of alcohol after 11 pitchers and having a relatively early night, which leads me to believe I went to bed on Thursday at around 9pm. That's fine. Nothing too important to note for Friday other than getting ID'd at Wal-Mart when trying to buy a cheap bottle of Captain Morgan's rum, and getting 'titties on the twelve hat' during my first-ever (and probably only) lapdance at a place called "Bazookas". The club, located in downtown Kansas is where all the old folk say that downtown is really only for "brothers shooting brothers and niggers shooting niggers. But who cares! I was on the recieving (and donating end) of a lapdance from a stunningly tall/attractive Asian stripper Who is not on the website. Dang. Late night! 2am. Holy fuck.

Saturday
We're here for racing, aren't we? Right we are. After being trampled awake in the morning (slept on the floor), I ate a really grossly tasteful breakfast and we headed out early, early, early for the track to watck The Kansas 300 Busch race and the NASCAR Cup Qualifying for Sunday's race. Hop on to the school bus.. I mean shuttle bus!

After walking around a bunch and not really buying anything, my dad and I jumped on a ride for Joe Nemecheck's little area (each driver has their own area of .. stuff. Tony Stewart - Home Depot - has one where you build bird feeders). Little did I know that Joe Nemecheck's ride (whose sponsor is US Army) was like having someone brainwash you into joining the Army. How odd.

In the meantime I caught a few pictures of the Cars going through inspection, and the Scoreclock thing that tells you at the top how many laps finished, and the places of each driver.

We then went to the track, and watched most of the cars qualify. I caught decent pictures of Dale Earnhardt Jr's shitty qualifying run, Mark Martin's decent run, and a rookie Crash out of turn four on his second qualifying lap. He was ok!

The qualifying was kinda cool, but it was the start of the Busch race (like the minor league to Nascar) that got me excited. First, it was seeing all the cars lined on the infield, and then after ceremonies (National Anthem et such), they did laps with the pacecar, and then came around one final time to start the race. A whole bunch of things happened, including Pit Stops, Even more Pit Stops, and a few crashes I couldn't get on camera, but in the end it was Kasey Kahne beating Greg Biffle by less than half of a car (Nascar.com photo). He went and did a great burnout, and that picture's ended up as my wallpaper.

The guy I was rooting for all day (Kevin Harvick) finished fourth after starting 19th. Great race was followed by a bustrip back where an old man got thrown off for being too drunk, and a whole bunch of drinking that turned into sleep, to get ready for the big day Sunday. The strangest part about this whole weekend up to this point was the weather between 60-70F. I was cold sitting on the benches, but getting sunburn. What the fuck?

Sunday
This day had us walking around taking pictures beside random stuff like The 97 Hummer, The Inside of Ricky Rudd's car, and my dad taking one of me standing in a crowd of people to give you the idea of how many people were around this horde of stuff. As you can see, my face came pre-sunburnt.

At this time, we did two things. We went and got headsets so you could hear what the racers were saying on the radio to eachother as well as the broadcast (fucking blurry picture! one of the only ones. BLAST!), and This Partially decent Panoramic view of the track.

The Banquet 400 race was ready to begin. The cars are twice as loud, and all of the drivers you know are again, sitting in the infield. It's time to do the National Anthem and the prayer. They do a prayer. Did you know that? Everyone loves God. All of the people stand together during the anthem/prayer, and it makes for a neat photo op, minus the heads. Afterwards, they tell you that a Stealth Fighter is flying by, but you never do hear the damn thing. I got this picture just in time.

So the race is going and going, and then you go and find some food and beer, and then you Take a video of the cars passing by just to give everyone an idea of how fast they drive, and how loud the would be. Holy god!

And then my favorite driver (Ryan Newman) gets involved in a crash thanks to your other favorite driver Dale Jr., and Mark Martin wins, (Nascar.com took those last 2) but you don't care. Sunday night and Monday are filled with drinking and sleeping and driving and sleeping and sunburns, but you don't care.

I got out of it what I put into it and it was everything I'd hoped for. It was great fucking racing, regardless of whether it was in circles, squares, or in the shape of the trail a snake would leave in the desert. I got next to no sleep listening to the same mix mp3 disc every night, but that doesn't matter, either. It was loud, fast, and fun, and I enjoyed every single minute.

To see more pictures that weren't in this update, Click Here.

Review: Metric - Live It Out

2005-10-02T03:26:00.000-05:00

Tracklist: Empty/Glass Ceiling/Handshakes/Too Little, Too Late/Poster of a Girl/Monster Hospital/Patriarch on a Vespa/Police and the Private/Ending Start/Live It Out

With Metric's Old World Underground, you got a feeling. It was a fierce, short statement by a band who seemed poppily angry, with lyrics that stained the wall in it's political questions and statements. It was something that struck you from start to finish, and was the perfect kind of songs you'd see in a live setting. They were better, for the most part live, than on the disc.

So how can you improve something like that?

With the band's second actual album (third if you count Grow up and Blow Away), Metric continues some of the styles that all the indie kids loved about the first album. Catchy riffs, neat lyrics, and songs you'd love to see belted out in a little club with a bunch of sweaty kids in thick glasses and two colours in their hair.

But there's a flowing problem. Where OWU had a steady pace to it, Live It Out tends to draw not only a quick ending, but some songs just don't set into eachother's tones that well, most evident with Ending Start, a song first heard on solo bootlegs starring Emily Haines in a blindfold in front of a piano. The Ending Start that you got then (click here to download the solo version) had so much heart compared to the album version. It just doesn't seem to connect with the songs around it.

Speaking of which, the song that precedes Ending Start ends up as the highlight of Live It Out is the same highlight (at least for me) that OWU had, in a way. Where Hustle Rose left off with it's fantastic keyboard neatness that you could listen to for six hours, The Police and the Private picks up. It's a bevvy of neat sounds with the vocals that everyone loves from Emily Haines. Sweet, soft, sensual, sexy. The kind that you could lie in bed with and hug your pillow while you drift off to sleep.

It's the contrast with songs like the title track and it's grinding guitar parts to mellow, laid back songs that make you dance in your chair, enjoying the fact they've left the grooves until the end, but on a whole sometimes in the middle you get lost in all of the confusion of why the last song and the first song weren't switched, and why the space between them is such an odd shift.

Download:
The Police and the Private, Live it Out, Poster of a Girl

***.5 of *****

Review: Aristocrats/40 Year old Virgin

2005-08-29T17:31:00.000-05:00

Aristocrats
"A family walk into a talent agency," is all you have to remember. The Aristocrats is a documentary(of sorts) based upon an old inside joke with comedians. It centers around a family of people who have this act, and basically is the amalgamation of disgustingly terrible things that happen during the act. When the agent asks the name of the act, you get "The Aristocrats".

So now that you've got a basis to work on, let's give you a bit of this movie, which is basically a 90 minute telling of this very joke in different forms by some of the world's top comedians that even includes the Smothers Bros. It doesn't border on disgusting, it's TERRIBLY disgusting, but that's what makes it hilarious. It's so outlandish and far out for almost every version, that bringing it back around to it's almost mundane punchline is far too perfect.

Some of my associates didn't exactly think so, and I don't blame them. This isn't the kind of movie to bring your mom to see, unless she likes jokes about people peeing on eachother, incest, bestiality, and scatology. That's right, I said all of that in the same line. There's not much one can review about for the movie other than saying that it's rated 18A for a reason, and I'm surprised it actually even was recieved in as many theaters as it did. But that's not taking away from how funny I thought the movie was, even though I know alot of the people that see this movie that don't already know what it's about when going into it are going to be caught completely off guard and wonder what the hell they're getting themselves into.

With every funny movie that crosses boundaries, there are standouts and letdowns. Though you're not going to believe me, I'm going to tell you that the best comedian in this movie is Gilbert Gottfried's version of the joke when he was losing the crowd at Hugh Hefner's Comedy Central Roast. Props go as well to Andy Dick, Bob Saget, Sarah Silverman, the mime, and the guy who does the card trick version, as the best versions of the joke, but there are other people in the movie that I dislike who were even making me laugh (besides Drew Carey. I cannot find that guy funny ever), which was fun. And that's what makes the documentary type feel of this movie go so well. It's fun to watch all of these comedians try their luck at the same thing.

So go spend your hard earned money on a movie that will definately make you laugh, as long as you can find poo funny.

*** of *****

40 Year Old Virgin
After years of writing some of the funniest things on the Daily Show, Steve Carell takes to his own, this beast that he and director Judd Apatow penned together, The 40 Year Old Virgin.

We've had alot of gross-out humor movies come and go in the past few years that have had decent parts to them, but very few (Old School, Something about Mary) have ever been complete films. So many just dig directly for the jugular and try to just make you completely forget about an actual storyline that people can look at and identify with, in the least. But Virgin achieves this. It's character development in Andy, the main character is good, along with all secondary characters trying to help this guy get out and let it all hang out, to find that one who's going to get the years of frustration out of him.

Catherine Keener is a steady love interest in this movie, too. Whenever it seems to slow down or the movie comes to a point of eye rolling, the chemistry between Keener and Carell save it, and bring you back around again for another round (of well placed) silly jokes, including that scene that everyone's seen on the commercial, the done-in-one take chest waxing. Why would Carell do that? Because, he wants Andy to be real, he wants the audience to cheer on his dorky forty year old through all of his action figure collecting quirkyness, and by the film's conclusion, there isn't a person in the house who doesn't like him.

*** of *****

Review: Stealth

2005-08-04T18:37:00.000-05:00

That's right. I went to see Stealth. I had a 5$ gift certificate, and gave my friend the other 5$. The third on the trip payed full price.

Stealth is a hard movie to review, because going into it I was expecting it to be a waste of time, such as XXX, and the Fast and the Furious, by the same director. I was right. There is a point to this movie somewhere inside of it's 121 minutes (!!), but far be it for me to find it. It was like watching a soap opera with planes: Stuff happens, but by the end it was kind of all mush anyway.

The basis of the movie was that Stealth fighters (400 applied, 3 got the job) Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, and a terribly non-colourful Josh Lucas are shipped to the USS Abe Lincoln (It's just not snowflake day without a lamb taco!), to meet their fourth fighter friend, while sitting around eating apples and a grape popsicle. I shit you not. That's where the bad dialogue starts. "Who wants a popsicle?" "Do you have grape?" And so on. The fighter is actually an Artificially intelligent thing, but they call it EDI, which stands for something to do with "Deep Infiltrator" that of course, gets a joke about it by Foxx, who's relegated to token black dude in this movie.

And after pointless scenes of just random stuff (while reviewing the EDI, it gratuitously shows Foxx shirtless and dancing to funk in red sandals in his room), and as many secretive shots of the lady's ass, stuff starts happening. They bring the EDI out into the field (where they call him Tin Man), so that he can observe them doing random, pointless stuff (or shooting down a terrorist cell without hurting any third parties by shooting an imploding missile that explodes, after flying almost into space, or something). He then learns specific things by his "teacher", and the leader of the flock, Lucas, best known for being a second hand faceless guy, and then the inevitable happens.

The plane gets hit by lightning.

This is the part that you think "well maybe something neat will happen, like he'll kill people". But it doesn't. He decides to go around and do his own work on missions, reacting on what he's learned from his "teacher", the human. And anytime he disagrees with the pilots, he replies to them in his cool but lame, 2001:A Space Odyssey HAL copy. He puts the team in jeopardy, people get upset, they take him apart and check him out.

At this time it's discovered that the computer has decided to DOWNLOAD EVERY SONG ON THE INTERNET for no specific reason. That's right. I said it. The weirdest part is that out of all of that, he picks the weirdest songs by Incubus that nobody's heard. How convenient.

The movie continues, the token black guy of course gets killed, and bad dialog tends to overshadow even the idea that this movie was ever going to be cool to begin with. The Biel stealth crashes in North Korea (the new Russia in army movies), and Lucas gets swivelled into a plot by their Navy leader to cover his ass by killing everyone. Lucas gets out, and saves the girl, but not without the help of the newly reformed Stealth plane, that now likes people because it wants to do the right thing and has feelings, because the lightning strike made it evolve faster. A big flashy ending happens, people fall in love, and I was tired.

The ending was viewable as soon as you saw a cockpit in a plane that didn't need one, if you were wondering what exactly happened. It was that bad. It was consistently bad, and funny, so much that two of the three got bored of making fun of it, the other had ADD.

Really, the only reason I gave a point to this movie is for the audacity of Hollywood markets that believed that this thing would actually sell. It cost $100 million to make, and it's probably never going to make that in it's theater run. What scares me is that the mass audience also realized it would suck. Maybe they're getting smart?

Oh right, I forgot, Fantastic Four is still making loads of cash.

* of *****

Review: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-07-20T18:12:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't get excited about Depp/Burton projects? If you don't, there's something wrong. From the beginning of their combined efforts until the next (Corpse Bride), there's always something in the air at theaters that makes you giggly, because even if parts of the movie are terrible, Burton's fantastic vision of scenery, and Depp's.. Depp-isms will save it somehow.

And that's exactly where we place the Chocolate Factory movie.

Much has been said (by Gene Wilder and reviewers) about the need for this movie, but in Hollywood's lack of ideas, well, it was probably going to get done again soon enough, and at least they have something working for them: the writer of the script had never seen the first film until after he went back to the original books and wrote this movie. That means ladies and gentlemen, that you're not getting a movie based upon a movie as so many people are trying to tell you, but you're getting something that goes back to the source material (kind of like that War of the Worlds update I had written), and a new view on everything. It's not knocking Wilder or the insane midgets that scared me as a child, it's creating a new vision.

On we go pretending that you haven't heard this before: The story revolves around a young Charlie Bucket and his escapade through a tour in the museum that has just been re-opened by Willy Wonka. And right from the start of the tour, every little episode that looks awry also is silly, and perfect. From the fire set by the puppets, to the trained squirrels, everything looks so elaborately pretty. It's eye catching, it's the kind of thing that brings the kid out in you. You want to walk through that screen and dive into the chocolate waterfall, or eat the grass, so they say.

And amid few problems, the acting is decent in that "light comedy" way. It's never too boring for the older crowd with it's sometimes silly jokes that kids won't necessarily understand (beatniks and cannibalism!), or even it's Three Stooges comedy that caters to everyone. And no, Johnny Depp does not remind me of Michael Jackson. His Wonka is far from it really, but just because he's extra pale, talks with a high voice and is hanging around with kids, well that's enough for everyone else.

The best thing this had going for it to me besides the continued onscreen awkwardness of Depp's strange man Wonka, and a fantastic performance (again) by Freddie Highmore, is that contrary to the commercials, I was not completely annoyed by the film as television has me believe. There's lots more to it than you're getting. They've saved all the good parts for the film (what trailers don't normally do), and it's fun. I left with a smile on my face afterwards, like many other kids will, and isn't that really what matters?

*** of *****

How to confuse an audience, chapter one:

2005-07-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

So you're at the movies, in a small theater, or something. You want to catch that new movie, War of the Worlds. It's playing in three theaters. Hey, that means there's a whole bunch of room to lay back and watch Tom Cruise run, yell, and say things like "Look at the goddamned birds!". You're ready with your popcorn, and you walk in, but Tom Cruise isn't even on the screen! What's worse, is that the bad guy from that Jim Carrey mask movie is running around. So you go home and look it up, and find out that the director David Michael Latt was not Steven Spielberg, nor was he anywhere close, directing classics such as "Scarecrow Slayer", "Killers 2: The Beast", and Rock and Roll Fantasy( aka Sorority House Party).

You're upset. You don't want to pay eight more dollars to see Tom Cruise run, yell, and say things like "Stop this Ray crap. The name's Dad. Call me Dad. Or Mr. Ferrier". So you wait until it comes out on DVD. You're a little confused that the DVD cover is black with red writing instead of all the huge bigass font in the posters from the Spielberg version, but well, maybe it's some sort of special edition DVD. You bring it home, and start eating your popcorn with your feet up on your comfortable chair. Ten minutes in you haven't seen Tom Cruise, or Dakota Fanning yet. That's odd, isn't Tom Cruise in every shot for his films? Maybe it's a new leaf. By the end of the film, you can tell that it's straight to video, why would Spielberg put nudity in his version? There's no need for that. Also, the video was rather low budget quality, and so you research in IMDB again and find out that the director brough such big budget films as "House of the Rising", and "Bug Wars", which were also straight to video, as you find out this WOTW was.

Don't believe me?

Here's proof:

HG Wells' War of the Worlds(I) (C. Thomas Howell)
In this modern retelling of H.G. Wells' sci-fi classic, civilization is laid to ruin when a race of super aliens invades Earth.
Released: 28 June 2005

War of the Worlds (Tom Cruise)
As Earth is invaded by alien tripod fighting machines, one family fights for survival.
Released: 23 June 2005

The War of the Worlds(II) (No Major Actors)
The first authentic movie adaptation of the 1898 H.G. Wells classic novel.
Released: 14 June 2005 (Straight to DVD)

A note: If you're looking around the "HG Wells" version, click the recommendation link. You'll find the other two versions there.

Now you wonder to yourself, how could this happen? Isn't there some sort of law that forbids something like this from happening? Not really. Hollywood producers are able to scrape anything together into a film as long as there is demand for it and money to pay for it. It's why we've got movies like Jackass and so many sequels to movies. People don't mind familiarity in films because it's easier to identify with. They want big blockbusters with the same jokes over and over, instead of something challenging. That's for us folk who are so far into movies that all we want are challenges and so we come down harder on the blockbusters with the terribly crappy jokes, or avoid them all together.

Now, this version problem isn't only with War of the Worlds, it also kind of fell together with The Exorcist. See the following:

Exorcist: The Beginning(2004)
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist(2005)

These two movies even have the same people starring in them. Here's the lowdown on this from IMDB:
Paul Schrader was originally hired as director of Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), but the studio ultimately rejected his "psychological thriller" approach, saying it was "commercially unmarketable". The decision was made to extensively rewrite and re-shoot the script, with several roles performed by other actors and directed by Renny Harlin. Schrader's version was supposed to have a direct-to-video release as a feature on the DVD release of Harlin's version. However, in the wake of Beginning's box office failure, the studio abandoned this idea, allowing Schrader to present his version on several film festivals, as well as giving it a small scale theatrical release in several countries under the title Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist.

So as it seems, Hollywood is having some sort of issue with the movies they're releasing. It's like they're trying to use white out to forget that if one version is terrible, they can always re-do it later and everyone will forget about it. Audiences as a group are only as smart as the dumbest one of them, right? It's got to be. I mean, look at the next year of film and count the amount of re-hashed films, from Bad News Bears to Pride and Prejudice. It's turning into the music industry. So many covers that people believe the new ones are the real versions, and forget about the original versions. They were laid down as ground work to other people being allowed to take them over, right?

Review: Movies galore

2005-07-08T01:22:00.000-05:00

Twenty Dollars at the local Movie Village brings you as many movies as you can watch in one month. And this is as far as I got. Next post I will be reviewing classic horror movies of all shapes and sizes. This time around, I sweat and salivate on Audrey Hepburn, mostly.

The Most Dangerous Game
Fay Wray, Leslie Banks
For a movie like this made by a famous director for his other film (King Kong), TMDG has alot going for it, and against it. In the for section, Leslie Banks' Count Zaroff is an evil character whose hunting trade is of people, and he is the best part of the film. His campy demure and facial expressions, topped off with a silly accent and fine lines, make the movie go quickly and effortlessly through it's just over 60 minutes. But Fay Wray's performance coupled with Joel McCrea's lead character of a hunter turned hunted, is slow moving and sometimes laughable, which makes rooting for the bad guy in this film so much easier. Had it not been for a silly demented man-hunter, this movie would have crashed all the way from the beginning.
** of *****
==========
An affair to remember
Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr
Cary Grant dazzles again, and Deborah Kerr is a sweetheart in this movie. It's a bit on the long side (damn that middle part), but the ten minutes of tension towards the end of the movie and the subsequent happy ending (woops?) is all worthwhile. There's not much I can do that isn't said by watching the film, really, which is terrible for a review but basically the thing speaks for itself. Go watch it already, you'll enjoy yourself.
***1/2 of *****
==========
Bang the drum slowly
Robert DeNiro, Michael Moriarty
Good sports movies are hard to come by. Sure, there are alot that are pretty decent, the ones that truly strike a chord seem to have been made mostly in the 70's, and this one is included. DeNiro plays a struggling catcher on the Yankees who finds out hes's dying, and Moriarty plays the pitcher. They're two completely different characters who form a bond with eachother throughout the last year or so of the catcher's life. And though it still somehow gets centered mainly on Moriarty until the pivotal points of the movie, DeNiro still amazes, as the slow witted catcher with a problem that he doesn't want to tell anyone, so as not to get pity. This is real story with baseball as the backdrop, and that's how it should be done, to get real sports movies.
*** of *****
==========
Hopscotch
Walter Matthau, Sam Waterston
What a thriller. It's Matthau being funny, cunning, and the best part about this movie, beside his partner, Glenda Jackson who seems to just be along for the ride. The biggest and only problem I had with this film was the amount of un-neccesary swearing by the CIA agents that were after him. It was incomprehensible and only made me dislike the movie, along with strange overdubbing on specific scenes. Other than that, flawless.
**** of ******
==========
Anatomy of a murder
James Stewart, Lee Remick
The James Stewart vehicle continues. It's a movie with a plot that could be ripped from any headline in any era, the killing of a man after the raping of a woman. But the problem with this story is not only that it drags on and on and on, but the District Attorney's side of the trial is a complete mockery. It makes all points moot, and a really boring trial scene, which takes up half the movie. Had it not been for Lee Remick's part beautiful, part slutty role, this movie would have probably fallen apart, if released within the last twenty years. But being released as it was, it turned into a big hit for everyone, and trapped somewhere in here, I could see it just a little bit, but not enough to stay interested for too long.
** of *****
==========
How to steal a million
Audrey Hepburn, Peter O'Toole
Have you ever wanted to delay the inevitable, have you ever wanted to make a movie longer than it was, just to make sure the friends you make onscreen stay a little longer? That's the curse(Curse?) of Audrey Hepburn. She's dazzling, beautiful, awe inspiring, and somehow always fit with the perfect man in capers like these. It wasn't so much that the story was fun, or the acting was great, or her father looked creepy on closeups, or even that I recognized the chief of police from Hepburn/Grant's Charade, but every single time she was on screen, I could not stop smiling and feeling anxious. It's easy to fall in love with her, especially on movies like these. That wasn't much of a review, was it? The movie still gets good points, see?
***.5 of *****
==========
Bewitched
Nicole Kidman, Michael Caine, Will Ferrell
This was a hard movie to watch. Not that it's as terrible as everyone says, but when I was watching this movie, many things were obvious to me:
1. Nicole Kidman always seemed to be trying too hard
In a good way. Her being cast in this movie was perfect. She's soft, elegant, silly, and funny. She's never had the problem of being difficult to watch (except maybe.. Eyes Wide Shut), and her grace even in a fun role is evident.

2. This was a Will Ferrell and his friends movie.
It's kind of like Anchorman, only not as funny in that way. Remember the scene in Anchorman, with all of the fighting? You just kept laughing at all of the cameos? This movie is like that, but more with completely pointless ones. The only funny cameo is Steve Carell.

3. The witches folks rule.
In Michael Caine, and Shirley MacLaine, as witches. Makes sense right? Right. Even just their presence makes it fun to watch, and I've already mentioned Kidman. If there weren't as many of these witches, well heck, I might have packed up and left early.

4. Will Ferrell is funny, but not the right funny
Don't get me wrong. I like him. But in this kind of movie, his comedy is only about 50% on.

I guess, since my mother came away happy, and seeing as that made me happy, here's my final say. Go see this with your mother. You'll crack a few smiles, but then in leaving, you might wonder when someone will find the right role for Ferrell to fit into, because this really isn't it.
** of *****
==========
Sabrina
Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden
Through Bogart's laid back cool, to Holden's outlandish car driving and overlooking of the woman that secretly loves him, this is another prime example of Audrey Hepburn's method acting. She's sweet, young, and outgoing as Sabrina, the girl over the garage who falls in love with both sets of brothers. This movie has turned into a remake with Harrison Ford and Greg Kinnear, and though I haven't seen it, I could certainly see it during the movie. It was a very strong film that wasn't the kind you would catch yourself "ooh" ing over, just your classic staple of a confused love story.
*** of *****

Review: Land of the Dead

2005-06-28T02:05:00.000-05:00

George Romero has been giving us movies that are gory and fun and thought-worthy for a long period of time, and though there are years (and decades, even) between the installments, the proposed last one in Land of the Dead is no different.

Land of the Dead stars a strange bit of actor in that they're reminiscent of "Hey, I recognize that person" type of movie, and you're never worried about it, because it's expected that most of these people are going to die anyway, right?

The storyline this time around is that finally, after all these years, the zombies are starting to remember, starting to act more human, and in such case, starting to terrorize the living in more interesting ways. It's set in present day in a nameless American city that's guarded itself by having a town on it's own island, away from the zombies. But when they start figuring out how to do things, it gets out of hand. The gore factor isn't set to high, it's set to abnormally fun levels of high (Save one scene that made me grit my teeth, nothing big, just a woman scraping fingernails where they all fall off. AGH!), and you're either frightfully disgusted, or giggling like a teenager the whole time.

The dialogue is not strong, it holds many one liners, but that's consistent to all of Romero's Dead movies, and what makes them so fun to watch. It's like watching fifteen people try to be a Bruce Campbell type of hero, only they're not getting across so well, so you're doing a combination of laughing at them, and with them, as they go about their day.

This is what makes a zombie movie. This is fun, gory, but smart. It makes you think, instead of rolling your eyes and having the same sight gags hit you in the face one hundred times in two hundred movies. Though not very close to the (original) Dawn of the Dead in the "good" factor, it is still a fitting way to cap off all of the years of fun terror, right where it began.
***.5 of *****

What I'd like to know is, do they live together?

2005-06-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

Let's see if I can get through this without using his name, or anyone else's. Don't get me wrong, sometimes he doesn't suck. His carbon copy of Vanilla Sky was great. Here's my beef (and most probably everyone else's). This guy reminds me of a fifteen year old kid who's testing his parents. He's jumping all over chairs on a televisionist whose company name is one letter long, expressing his love over a short period of time with someone he's most likely just met, and going on and on about something that he seems to know all about, testing his friends and his parents (which could be, to a lesser extent, the paying public) with rants on smart television people in the morning, calling them names because they have a simple different point of view. I'm sure the peers in the area of his "religion" are either shaking their heads, scratching their chins, or wondering about all of this press. Is it negative for their grouping? Bad press can be good press, too, and this man is certainly on that.

But why isn't anyone telling him how stupid he looks, how badly overshadowed his (and hers, slightly) new movie is compared to all of this shit? This man isn't a role model. He's not the kind of actor people should look up to, like an Eastwood, or Grant, or something. He's got this whiny, childlike anxious demeanor to him, that if this were the sixties, or even the seventies he wouldn't get past "jerky sidekick". He's the kind of guy that's got such a big mouth that he could probably fit a second person into it. He's saying without thinking and not one person is telling him to quiet down and act like a professional. He's kind of like the whiny version of Anakin Skywalker in the second Star Wars, and the first half of the third.

I've been reading articles all over that consider this "union" of two people a great press junket for the two respective movies. But with the TITLES of both of these films, and the background along with previous fanbase already associated with them, do you really think it would be needed? Not really. People should pick up on that fact.

They should also pick up on the fact that this stuff might be real. He might really love her, because you can grow to love something over time, kind of like myself and the cockatiels that my significant other owns. This is especially important considering the fact that one of the fantastically young actresses that was to work with him on his third installment of a movie was sort of removed after not falling into the trap that the current one did. Hence the situation we're in. But then again, after reading the following quote, I recant. He's doing it on his own, I guess:

Has anybody in Hollywood come to you — your agents or studio people — and asked you to stop talking about any of this?
I've had a lot of encouragement and a lot of thanks, that's what I've had.

After this, I will not see a movie with you in it, unless I specifically have to. I have only ever liked two of your movies, although one is a complete copy/paste job, and the other is shown weekly on television. It is however, nice to see that the side of you that no one else gets to see is finally out, a fifteen year old prick with an ego that's testing his boundaries, instead of the facade you've been playing in the media. I should have known that you've been playing the roles that you have in the mid eighties to early nineties, because they're like you, a kid in a candy store that's more eager to break the sweets than eat them. Everyone gets theirs. Something blows up in the face of everyone. This is your time.

Background information:
Pregnant when Dumped
How to pay less alimony
Scarlett said 'No', removed from MI3
Where was Katie Holmes in April?
Transcript of Lauer/Cruise
Scientology official watching her every move
Embracing Scientology
Beliefs and teachings on Scientology
The Entertainment Weekly interview
Some sort of Scientology.. Thing
The six hour tour
Church of critical thinking

Review: Batman Begins

2005-06-22T01:30:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows about the previous incarnations of Batman, and if you don't, you're lucky. The Batman series of films has been sitting on the shelf since the terribly icy (ha-ha) "Batman & Robin" starring George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger, which was pretty much a kick in the face to any fan of comic superheroes, although just a teeny, tiny bit better than the Captain America movie.

But the new series of Batman (I say that because it's planned to have a three part series) has something the earlier versions (save the first film) did not. They were made for grown up audiences, with a good script, a fantastic director, and a landscape for Gotham that had never been introduced before. Many things about this movie are comparable to previous incarnations, and yet more than anything differ. Present are the always corny lines that pop up in every single comic book to movie ever made, but they work here, because there's not as much emphasis on trying to make them stand out jokes. Here they're placed gracefully and said with conviction.

And what I mean by that is that this is the best casting of any Batman film. You might not like Bale's Batman, or Katie Holmes' Rachel (rumors are rampant she won't be in the next one because of all the Cruise etcetera), but with the rest of the stellar cast, they make it easy to forget (even Liam Neeson's terrible moustache!). Extra credit to Michael Caine's Alfred, whose character, as always played like a sidekick/father to Bruce.

The film follows Bruce Wayne dealing with the death of his parents (as always), and how he came to be Batman, kind of like a "Year one" nod from the comics, only done well enough so as not to throw off the non dorky comic people like myself. It's a fetchingly dark movie that does not let up and has a strong plot as well, which isn't surprising from the director of Memento and The Following. The graphic shots of flying, and the fantastic effects that have to do with the Scarecrow are awesome, showing the viewer that you don't need too much CGI, just bits and pieces enough to make it look better, and I'm not even going to talk about the gawking Batmobile Scenes. Whoa.

The one faith I have in these new Batman movies is that they (please, can you?) restore the sanity in Batman and it's character where the two of four had previously stripped (yes, I'm talking to you Val and George), as well as the Bane character that was ruined in Batman & Robin. A character from the comics who was so strong and smart that he'd broken Batman's back and pretty much reigned Gotham for a short time was lowered to shitty sidekick for Poison Ivy and it makes me more angry about that than any other terribly made comic - movie I've ever seen.

Batman Begins is a movie that could be considered a normal movie with a strong lead character to some, in the same way with Spiderman. It takes a super-hero and brings a struggle to get a sense of normalcy back into a person who is so far down at one point that it makes Bruce Wayne easy to identify with. It's the ups and downs in the life of a regular person who's just trying to do the right thing that makes this movie such a winner.

**** of *****

Review: Foo Fighters "In Your Honor"

2005-06-03T16:23:00.000-05:00

Disc One: In Your Honor/No Way Back/Best of You/DOA/Hell/Last Song/Free Me/Resolve/Deepest Blues Are Black/End Over End
Disc Two: Still/What If I Do?/Miracle/Another Round/Friend of a Friend/Over and Out/On the Mend/Virginia Moon/Cold Day in the Sun/Razor

When Dave Grohl talks, more people should listen. During interviews in a promo tour for this album, he said that this would be the year that people would start believing in rock music again, and that this would be the Foo album that he'd want the band to be remembered by. If this new disc is any indication, he's right on both counts, with In Your Honor leading the way.

From the getgo, the rock side (disc one) grabs you by the throat and dispenses track after track of rock that's reminiscent of all the things that made Colour and the Shape everyone's secret favorite Foo Fighters record, and by the time the cd's slowed down just by a bit, you're wanting to put it back in and listen to it over and over, until the death of it repeating so much. These tracks have an everlasting, staying power with so much consistency, that hasn't been seen in other albums. There are no middle of the road songs that slow down the in-between of Foo Fighters cds. This is great from start to finish.

And then there's the acoustic record. It's something that most fans of the band that adored the solo versions of Everlong have been waiting to hear for years, and it's also a very consistent, slowed down, mellow but Sunday-Afternoon type of set, heightened by guest appearances by Zeppelin bass player John Paul Jones and his keyboard playing, as well as sexy chanteuse Norah Jones, who adds backup vocals. But the best part about this acoustic album is two specific tracks, in "Friend of a Friend", one of the first songs Dave had ever written on guitar while being in a bunch of new surroundings in the early nineties, and the last song "Razor", a beautiful dual guitar track that just gets you lost in the emotion so much, that it has the same feeling to me as what the acoustic Everlong does. A powerful, gut wrenching track that is stripped to it's bare essentials, which gives it even more power than you'd think. It's a great way to cap off an album that will leave you pressing the repeat button, and waiting to get in line to see these being pulled off live.

This is the album of the year for me, and we've only reached the halfway point of 2005.

***** of *****

Review: Get Behind Me Satan

2005-06-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

Blue Orchid/The Nurse/My Doorbell/Forever for her (is over for me)/Little Ghost/The Denial Twist/White Moon/Instinct Blues/Passive Manipulation/Take, Take, Take/As Ugly as I Seem/Red Rain/I'm lonely (but I ain't that lonely yet)

In his own freaky way, Jack White is trying to save the world. He's trying to tell us that he's been waiting for the right time to break out the White Stripes he's had in mind, and in leading us, he just went a little astray.

That, or he's the not-so-creepy-but-still-creepy Michael Jackson version of himself on this album, where every song just resonates with his character and talent. You're left admiring (or hating) who he is, and how well he's able to turn a simple guitar/drum song into something huge, and bigger than people who have more than just two band members. That's the thing with the White Stripes. They're a duo that sound like a quintuplet, especially here.

Get Behind Me Satan marks new territory for Jack and Meg, in that the lyrics are ten times better than the previous albums (shown especially in "My Doorbell", "Little Ghost", and "Take, Take, Take"), and the addition of more instruments brings a more old-timey version of the band. If you had ever thought of the Stripes as a rocked out country/blues band, then this will bring that idea to you twofold. It's their finest and most consistent outing, in that every song (including Meg's just over thirty second, pointless but fun Passive Manipulation) will have you bopping your head, and trying exactly to figure out what went wrong (or right?) between Elephant and the current album. There's such a varying difference between the two of them that the former sounds like Nevermind to In Utero via Nirvana for comparison (because I couldn't think of anything else), in that it's production suits the band better, and the songs are better written, and it's a better mark for who the band really is, and how much is weighted in the band leader than on any other member.

I guess it's more like that than I thought it was.

**** of *****

Review: Nine movies in Nine Days

2005-05-25T15:00:00.000-05:00

Spiderbaby
Lon Chaney Jr., Beverly Washburn, Jill Banner
Whenever film is made, firsts are made. Spiderbaby is a first. It's the first (that I know of) of highly corny in the horror genre. It's partially scary, partially silly attitude towards a family with the "Progressive-Regressive" disease is campy through and through, and never lets on that it's ever serious. If, say this movie had been released within the last five years, it'd have been panned as another throwaway in a pile of un-watchable films. But because of how campy in this specific genre has grown since the 60's, it's also had another thing working against it: recognition. Being this campy can sometimes be fun to watch, because it's got all of the staples a silly little movie should have, in the audience telling the screen not to do something. In the end, this is the good campy, and thank God for that.
*** of *****

Night of the Hunter
Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters, Lillian Gish
A genuinely creepy film, the breakout role in this is that of the twelve year old Billy Chapin, who plays a very strong lead character in a boy protecting his sister from the perils of a crook/preacher. The story is a very strongly written one, and the direction was well done as well (though director Charles Laughton found this movie's reception so disheartening that he'd never direct again, and Mitchum was actually left to direct the children, as Laughton hated directing child actors), that it held up throughout the message of good faith that I kind of found a little overwhelming. The only drawback of the film was the fact that there never was much in the way of searching through the feelings of either child, after both of their parents had been murdered.
*** of *****

Harvey
James Stewart, Josephine Hull, Peggy Dow
What makes a James Stewart movie so good? He's always so "up front" with all of his characters. They always seem more realistic than the other people around him. And maybe that's because he'd never recieved any professional acting training, maybe it's that unmistakable voice or slight hunch, or maybe it's because he was picking perfect roles for himself, who knows. But this may be one of the strongest of his performances that I have seen. He's funny, he's a bit sad, but always a pleasure to watch as a character who's the only person able to see an almost seven foot rabbit. The only drawback to this movie is that over half of the supporting cast gets into the habit of being more annoying with stale jokes in order to play off of Stewart that it becomes just a little bit boring until he jumps back on screen.
***.5 of ******

Shock Corridor
Peter Breck, Constance Towers, Gene Evans
Twice, I've tried to watch this, once from the start of the movie and then again from the continued point that I'd stopped the first time, but both times I ended up getting very sleepy upon watching. I will however, give it points for being one really screwed up movie for what I did see. Disqualified.

The Omen
Gregory Peck, Harvey Stevens, Lee Remick
Not only is this movie not very scary, but it's also not the kind of movie that could be relegated to B movie status. It's creepyness lies in it's plot, or the fact that your son is the antichrist. Plot development doesn't matter, screw character development, get right to the scenes of fantastically thought out deaths, and you've got yourself a killer movie. I was not let down for a minute, because from start to finish, it's the kind of horror movie you and a bunch of friends can watch, smile at, and enjoy.
***.5 of *****

Cape Fear
Robert Mitchum, Gregory Peck
Now this is a good film. I have not seen the remake (though I'd like to, as Mitchum and Peck make appearances), but wanted to see this one first. Two power performances from some of early creepy movie's best actors. It's a slow starting film, but I think that was partially intentional, considering the lead up to the satisfying ending (though a bit anticlimatic), and how much of the movie depends on it's final minutes. A must see.
**** of *****

Made for Eachother
James Stewart, Carole Lombard, Charles Coburn
A delightful little comedy that doesn't weigh in too much when Stewart and Lombard are not on the screen, which is on par for many of Stewart's light comedy movies that are black and white. It seems that when he was just getting his gears shifting and people were starting to notice him, that he couldn't find the right script. This movie's no different. It had the ideals of being better than it really was.
**.5 of *****

Alferd Packer: The Musical
Trey Parker, Toddy Walters, Jason McHugh
Allright, Allright. This Troma film done in 1993 when Parker was in College is pretty silly. It's like the movie Ravenous with more dancing and sillyness. It's fun for a while, about fifty of it's almost one hundred minutes, but then somewhere it gets caught up with itself and is really hard to laugh at afterwards, kind of like repeated jokes. They make you smile, but you just don't get why it's being told over and over. I did enjoy Trey's subtle acting, and did of course, put it in perspective because most of the Troma films I've seen are kind of in that weird state where you don't really know where to put them. It's a genuine try at a first film by Parker that was probably fun to make, and isn't that terrible to watch. It's the kind of weird film that you don't invest too much in as a watcher, and come out shaking your head as to how silly it all ends up.
** of *****

Faust
Gösta Ekman, Emil Jannings, Camilla Horn
My first silent film lasted over two hours. Dialog full of screens after everything's been said. This movie was released in 1926, and to be honest, I was surprised at how there was never a point of down, there was never a realisation that I was watching a silent film, though it did take a bit of getting used to in the beginning. It's a painful story, the acting is brilliant, and it really made me believe in it. A must see.
**** of *****

Review: Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-19T17:24:00.000-05:00

As with the previous two Star Wars, Episode III isn't as different as Lucas says it is. Sure, it's dark. Sure, there are parts that I would say "Damn, my kids are too young for this", but you know, it still has the same problem that Episode II does, and that's Hayden Christensen. If you didn't think that much of his mediocre acting in II, you won't mind that much here. But for those of us who see Star Wars in a different (non hardcore) way, and also enjoy movies that don't have Tie Fighters, the dry mouthed twenty something's whine will make you sad, and yet when he's got a shut mouth and staring into the camera with dark eyes, I was happy, especially by the time the suit was involved. Less lines for him would have been great, but understandably impossible. It kind of all depended on what his lines were and who he was on the screen with. Sometimes he was alright, when being talked to like a young child that he was acting like, not the next chosen one guy. For him, less would have been more, but that's just me. Thank god for Ewan McGregor's Obi Wan, which for the longest time has been shutting him up with the right words to make me feel just a bit better.

I've read somewhere that Lucas' ability to work with actors was not.. very good, and you know I think that's false, which is purely based on this:

Actors with a history are good in this film. Samuel Jackson, Ian McDiarmid, Ewan McGregor (Especially. His Obi-Wan is the best part about all three films. He doesn't make his corny lines terrible, and composes himself fantastically while holding everyone else on the screen with him in a different light. He resonates, while the others try to shine.), and Natalie Portman to a lesser extent keep this movie afloat and sometimes even exciting. Hell, even a CGI Yoda shows better form than some of the lines that are even more dry and boring than previous films.

I will say this though: After making it through the first hour and a half of too much story to pack into one movie (there are so many things that have to do with the Republic and how things... Go - I don't want to spoil anything- that just kind of get easy answers, that it seems as if all of this happened in one really long, fast day. There was never the sense that from the time Padme says "I'm Pregnant", to the nine months it'd take to get to an actual delivery date.), the setup for the ending and the last hour of the film is vintage, Good Lucas, and almost perfect setup for a final ending. I still feel kind of odd about the fact that I was actually sad to see the fight scene. "It's all led up to this", I could hear myself saying. And really, it has. It took more than twenty years to finish this being for one man, that's taken most of us in our heads to another place, and though there was a real bumpy road to get there, it's END was impressive enough for me to give it at least one thumb up.

In comparison to I & II: **** of *****
Overall: **.5 of *****

Review: Weezer - Make Believe

2005-05-11T03:01:00.000-05:00

Beverly Hills/Perfect situation/This is such a pity/Hold me/Peace/We are all on drugs/The damage in your heart/Pardon me/My best friend/The other way/Freak me out/Haunt you every day

95% of the music listeners in the nineties know that Weezer's not a one album wonder, though many consider the Blue album the best of the lot, and throw out the rest of the discs. But those who forget about Pinkerton have also not found too much too wrong with the new Weezer, though those hardcore fans waiting for days of more "Els Scorcho" and "Sweater song", have been wondering what exactly Rivers has been doing all this time.

The two albums most haven't had fun with (Green album, Maladroit) were kind of straightforward, over and over again rock with no real silly Weezer lyric punches, save a few here and there (remember the muppet video?).

But all of that has changed in the new album Make Believe. Barring the title track/video, the band seems back on track with more toned down, sad songs that make you happy to be sad in a fun way. Is that a bad sentence? It makes sense to me. The emotion is back in songs. The chippy guitar parts that fill the background space return, and long gone are the songs that you could only want to put in your player once or twice before returning to Blue, or Pinkerton. You'll find yourself singing along to "We are all on drugs" bop your head to "This is such a pity", and "The Damage in your heart" might remind you of something from the Pinkerton era. Trust me, you'll hear it.

The only problem I've encountered with this album, is that smack dab in the middle there are about three or four songs that start/sound the same, kind of like that part in a movie that's boring or slow, but leads up to a great ending.

In Make Believe, Weezer's trying to tell you that they're on the way back to how things used to be, and how things will be from here on out. They were just trying to figure out what they were doing, because a two album hiatus can turn into a pretty long time, can't it? Maybe now all of those Pissed @ Weezer freaks will get just a little bit happier.

***.5 of ******

Review Four: # of movies in # of days

2005-05-03T21:46:00.000-05:00

Soylent Green
Charlton Heston, Leigh Taylor-Young, Edward G. Robinson
My first full Heston movie. The movie that everyonealready knows the ending to. A "Sci Fi Thriller". The campy factor. Everything that goes with this movie was injected in my head when I rented it, and on the morning that I watched it, it was the perfect movie to watch in the mood that I was in (Not wanting to move. Put in player, hide in blankets). And though I tried to understand what was happening to lead to the ending that will be eternally ruined by pop culture, it just really didn't make it. Everything was all over the place, relationships had no backbone, the ending had no lead in. Everything was just kind of there in some freakish way and the watcher has no choice but to leave partially dumbfounded at the ending that it gets to, because even though we all know that it's people, it's quick answers as to WHY it's people makes any serious attempt at enjoying the movie for anything other than the sillyness thrown out the window.
** of *****

Tôkyô nagaremono
Tetsuya Watari, Chieko Matsubara, Hideaki Nitani
Before his masterpiece puzzle of a movie Branded to Kill, director Seijun Suzuki was fired for a different film, this one, which has the same issues in story as it's predecessor. It's a mesh of story that flies from one place to another, but manages to tell you what the story was doing by it's always fascinating ending. His visual style (part photography) is amazing, and the character development never fails to keep constant in the mish mash of fast moving story, nor does his campy musical choices. If Suzuki had still been making films like this now, we'd be falling at his feet, but unfortunately the biggest drawback is that they were kind of swept under the floor. Find the Criterion Collection version. Because if you're able to sit through it and figure it out, then you're in for one hell of a ride.
**** of *****

The Horse's Mouth
Alec Guinness, Kay Walsh, Renee Houston
Ingenious, fun, silly, playful, entertaining, strange. All of these things represent not only the movie, but of Alec Guinness' portrayal of Gully Jimson, a grainy, foul mouthed old artist, trying to make it in life through his paintings. We're introduced to him from jail, and it unfolds in the sense where learning about him is also either liking or hating what life has brought him to be. Just make sure that you're not going to be an artist, or his protege (who takes an awful lot of bullying). This is another forgotten film in time in that it's perfect casting, and perfect direction. It's an effortless viewing movie that will bring much satisfaction to viewers of any age, who aren't familiar with Alec Guinness' work besides the obvious. His passionate, sometimes surly characterization of a brilliant painter is one that should last for the ages.
**** of *****

Kung Fu Hustle
Stephen Chow, Wah Yuen, Qui Yuen
While heading to the washroom during a storyline in the movie, I was asked by the attendee how the movie was. I replied "Like Matrix meets Crouching Tiger and the Three Stooges". It was everything merged into this new Kung Fu style. Dancing bad guys in the style of the Sinatra era, fantastic visual effects and just the right amount of comedy to morph it into what could already be considered a classic in it's genre. There's nothing more fun than a Chow movie in this respect. I'd love to see him continue to re-invent the classic style into something new like this. More people will be turned on to a new brand of film-making mixed with an old style.
**** of *****

Jabberwocky
Michael Palin
Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was my mood, maybe it was just the movie, but I didn't even get past the first 15 minutes before I was bored, annoyed, and wanted to shut it off, and therefore I disqualify myself from reviewing this.

Romper Stomper
Russell Crowe, Daniel Pollock, Jacqueline McKenzie
I still have a hard time thinking about what to say regarding this movie. I was both appaled, yet interested, confused, but understanding in a film about Australian skinheads. I'd recommend it if you're looking for something that makes you scratch your head in a "why society?" way.
*** of *****

Father Goose
Cary Grant, Leslie Caron
At his usual self, Cary Grant is the main reason to watch this movie. His always carefree attitude is tested in this film, where in the beginnings, he's just a simple man looking for peace of mind, and much to drink. But as the story unfolds, it's Cary in true form. Droll yet simple, drunk yet sharp. He hasn't slowed down in his age (this being his next to last movie), and keeps everything well together, along with his co-star in Leslie Caron, who basically take the ball and run with it, making their story of strange love the forefront to this cute little film. It's the kind of relaxing, Sunday afternoon drama that you'd be accustomed to.
*** of *****

Review: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

2005-04-30T05:36:00.000-05:00

Just about two months ago now, I was thrust into my first reading of these classic Silly-Fi novels, and after a bit of reading of all 5 sections, was as excited as anyone else to hear of the movie coming out, but was very confused about how much of the story was going to be thrust into it, and how they'd work around not having one film of about four hours long just to cover the basics.

And so tonight, I (along with seven other people I know better than strangers) embarked on a video trip for 110 minutes, that included all of the sillyness expected from the book transfer. The story was basically sound, and the character development in everyone that you were concerned about was just fine. Mos Def's Ford Prefect was perfectly cast, along with Sam Rockwell's Zaphod, and especially this version of Marvin, (walked around by Willow, and voiced by Alan Rickman) whose big head and sad green eyes gave you more silly empathy for a robot than other incarnations of the same character.

But then again there are always things that get missed, or barely touched on in a transfer from Radio show to book to album to television series to five books to movie. While the director (Garth Jennings) was trying to pack in as much as possible from the original book, he was also forgetting to bring the story back around again into a sensible, meaningful end. Two parts of the story (the whole Humma Kuvula angle, a character created by Douglas Adams for John Malkovich being one, and Zaphod's explanation of his second head being the other) seemed to be abolished completely, which kind of leaves you wondering exactly what happened in the end. And maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's because it's what he wants. Maybe there will be a sequel in The Restaurant at the end of the universe, which could in turn bring alot of the unanswered questions around again, which would make this movie much more accessible with faithful readers.

That being said, besides these points, this movie does stand on it's own two feet as a spectacular piece of film. The visuals are stunning, which includes the very silly/cheap looking effects put together for the book's explanation on different questions. There is alot of comedy intertwined, alot of lighthearted fun with the partially annoying Zaphod, and the love story that's intertwined with Arthur and Trillian gets tangled up into everything nicely, because it's not completely the focus of the movie. There is however, never a moment where you wonder to yourself what else they could have packed into this thing, because it's so full of information it's like having you in hyperdrive.

If you do like seeing films that don't actually require a reading of the book, this is a good representation of a literature to film project that doesn't suck. Douglas Adams would be proud of this film, hopefully moreso than the silly little British Television version, and I cannot stress the fact more that we need to have as many films as books, because I'd love to see each actor reprise his/her roles in a sequel form. Let's just hope that it doesn't take another thirty years to get it all together.

**** of *****

Five movies in a short time review part three

2005-04-22T19:23:00.000-05:00

Rushmore
Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Olivia Williams
What a movie. I've always been impressed with the storytelling view of Wes Anderson, and this is (to me) his finest work. The character development though swift makes it seem as though when you're first meeting the people in this movie, it's as if you've known them all your life. You get the feeling that you've known what was going to happen the whole time, you have that sense of when the movie ends, you don't want it to; you want it to keep going for a little while, to savor the silly little entwining relationships through Max Fischer's eyes. It's that kind of movie that you wished you could even have just a little part of, because you feel just like a part of the club.
***** of *****

Branded to Kill
Jo Shishido, Mariko Ogawa, Koji Nambar
It's really hard to describe how neat this movie is. I could sum it up in a bunch of words but I don't think I'd do it justice. The camera work in it is amazing, the storytelling is quick and a little on the funny side, but the plot seems to jump all over the place, in a way that I've never seen before. Parts of the movie were so hard to follow, only after a while you'd get clued in on where it was trying to end up. It's a masterful piece of cinema in every form, however, and is way before it's time with innovations that just seem to be amazingly done for it's time. It kind of reminds me of driving down a gravel road in the dark in that you can't figure out where you're going, but when you get to whatever's at the end, you're happy you did it.
**** of *****

The Philadelphia Story
Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart
What can be said about a movie like this? Our parents were spoiled brats when it came to the art of film. With all of the drivel and repeats in film today, it's nice to go back in time and watch a classic that never lets down, and just keeps going. The cast is brilliant, the dialog more witty than I've heard in years, and an all around feeling of sillyness is what you have emanating from this movie. There is never a point of let down, or silly mundane word-play. All of it is discreet, and a little bit on the dorky side. It kind of reminds me of a light comedy, with a twist of love, instead of the other way around. Such a delight to watch.
**** of *****

The Amityville Horror
Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jesse James
I'm new at this whole Amityville thing. My mother read the novel by Jay Anson, and had seen the original movie. Some people say it's a true story. Some people say it's false. Jay Anson on the new movie was to have said that he was angry that the new producers didn't ask for his help this time around, and apparently this version has nothing really to do with the book/original film, it's it's own story, "based upon". Fine, fine. But the problem with this film is that it never really gets to any point of being scary. There was not one moment where I would say to myself, "Wow, that was cool" or to a lesser extent "AAH!". Occasionally, I caught myself sleeping, and was looking at a friend of mine to see if she was still awake. Even the ending that you could tell was coming was just, so utterly predictable and boring. Anti-climactic would be another good word. A mass of groans and eyes rolling would be what you'd see if the lights went up at that ending. If this is what horror movies are supposed to be like in the new millenia, then by God, every single director who makes a piece of terriblelike this should be shot and/or fired.
0 of *****

Ohayô
Keiji Sada, Chishu Ryu, Haruko Sugimara
A cute tale about two children who stop speaking to their parents, in order to somehow gain a television, this movie also explores regular family life, the blabbering mouths of daytime housewives, and evenings full of liquor in the men. It's non stop cuteness really, whether it's coming from the two children who eat special rocks in order to fart when they get pushed in the head. The story is fun, the acting is fun, and by the end of the film you're left with a smile.
*** of *****

Arsenic and Old Lace
Cary Grant, Josephine Hull, Jean Adair
It's said that Cary Grant hates this movie because of his own over the top performance, but that's the most powerful performance in this film. His running around makes the movie more funny than it would have been had he been playing more of a straight man. This is the story of a man who encounters a bunch of strange occurrences, all on Halloween, including a brother that resembles Boris Karloff. And there's not one missing piece of the puzzle. It all flows along like a great piece of work and there's not one let down throughout. I'm not sure why he hates this movie, it's not as if he'd been doing a bunch of different films the same way, this is a once in a career looking role, and he fits it to a tee, alongside his strangely irregular castmates. Fun for the complete two hours.
**** of ******

Review: NIN - With Teeth

2005-04-19T18:20:00.000-05:00

All the love in the world/You know what you are?/The collector/The hand that feeds/Love is not enough/Every day is exactly the same/With teeth/Only/Getting smaller/Sunspots/The line begins to blur/Beside you in time/Right where it belongs/

This is not the Trent that you remember. Shades of The Fragile are resting all over him, but he's somewhere else. As an album whole, I'm kind of surprised that it's not on par with some of his other work, but it still remains constant, somewhat. Trent has never had any problems with the flow of an album. It's always been his strongest point, and he's still got that, at least. But the difference between this album and The Fragile, is that in the double album, he had a sense of depression hidden into his instrumentals, and the less use of hard, grinding beats and loud guitars than before, something that With Teeth doesn't achieve. Though there are more than a few songs that you can find yourself turning up loud and dancing around in your underwear in, it just kind of seems as if some of these are pure cookie-cutter versions of previous songs, which is new territory for Trent. And though he's always had a penchant for lyrics that sometimes border on the edge of lame, their lameness always worked in the territory that he was trying to cross, the ideas he was trying to convey. With Teeth also fails here. This might be the first time in my memory I've been able to forsee the next lines, a minute or so before hand, and shaking my head in sadness.

After saying all of this however, it's not without it's strong points. Any regular fan of NIN knows how well Trent saves some of his best work for the end of the album, and the ending of Beside you in time and Right where it belongs is the best work on the album, besides it's lead in track. All the love in the world is a great way to start an album that's a bit slower, a bit more relaxed in it's anger, and a bit more mainstream than you'd normally find a NIN album. Stay as far away from it's title track, along with it's follow up, Only, which boasts some of the worst lyrics on the album.

This is the kind of NIN album that would be great to turn up while driving in the summertime heat drinking a slurpee, where you don't have to concentrate too hard on what he's saying or where it's going. And though that works for casual fans, more hardcore fans might be let down by Trent's direction.

Two Point Five Of Five.

Five Movies in Five Days Review Two

2005-04-14T20:07:00.000-05:00

Dracula
Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners
Enthralling, dark, and creepy. Those are the three best words I can use to cover this movie. It held me from the start to the end, and every time Bela Lugosi's Dracula was onscreen, when he wasn't looking directly into the camera with his creepy glances, he really seemed to be having fun with the role. His conversations with other people (in trying to hide the fact that he was who he was) was even silly at times, because he seemed ages ahead of where they were at. The whole movie circled around his role, and he performed it fantastically, giving many generations the best dracula of them all, without even showing fangs, or biting anyone. No, there is no "I vant too sock yer blawd" line, either. This movie is right on par with the rest of the monster films of the day and no, I'm not surprised that it'd scare people like mad when it came out. The only strange part is that there is no soundtrack on the film at all. Not that it put any strain on the movie, but when this movie was released, some audiences found music strange in a scene because it had no explanation for being there. I wonder what movies would be like now if they followed this, we probably would not be seeing them in theaters with THX.
***** of *****

Goin' South
Jack Nicholson, Mary Steenburgen, Christopher Lloyd
You can see it in his eyes. When Jack Nicholson signed up to direct this movie, you can tell that he had his ideas set on who he wanted where, in casting and in the film. The movie's setting is a man who's captured for a capital offfence, and just before being hanged, a woman offers her hand in marriage to save him from death. This is the story of the two of them, striking gold, and relationships. And though it seemed very long in some parts (especially the scenes with Nicholson/Steenburgen), the basis of the story and how it worked was decent, especially on some of the camera-work (cinematography). It was the kind of movie, I felt, that you'd see in the afternoon on A&E and get enthralled by it for the time being, but you'd otherwise not go out to rent it if you knew any
better, kind of like watching Columbo when you start in the middle of the episode. Fun, but not too hard on the brain kind of thing.
*** of *****

Das Testament des Dr. Mabuse
Gustav Diessl, Wera Liessem, Adolf E. Licho
This is the kind of movie that everyone should watch. Released in Germany in the 1930's, banned, and then not shown again until the mid 50's (with 20 minutes of editing to bring the picture down to just over 100 minutes), the Criterion collection version of the DVD sports the original unedited director's cut of the movie. It has sensational storylines, and actually a lot of shots that remind me of things that are still in movies now. It's a very powerful movie, with a strong underlying message and just a little bit on the haunting side. I never lost faith in it the whole way through and would reccomend this movie to anyone who enjoys film noir and doesn't mind black and white.
**** of *****

Abre los ojos
Eduardo Noriega, Penélope Cruz, Chete Lera
The one thing that I didn't expect when getting into this movie, was how Hollywood was able to simply cut and paste so easily. For those who don't know, this is where Vanilla Sky comes from. And mixed in the jumble of the two movies, Penélope Cruz plays the same character with the same name, and the same lines. I would have probably liked this movie much more had I not seen Vanilla Sky first, because this whole charade puts a damper on both movies for me, makes at least one of the two un-watchable, as it's just a carbon copy, and who needs to watch a movie they've never seen when
they already know exactly what's going to happen in the first place? This movie is the one that should have gotten all the praise. It didn't need a Cameron Crowe/Tom Cruise makeover. All of the things that made it special were here first, and so this one gets my vote.
***.5 of *****

Marnie
Sean Connery, Tippi Hedren, Diane Baker
After seeing six Hitchcock movies, I've only had a hit or a miss once (The trouble with Harry), that pulled me so far over the annoyed edge that I couldn't even finish watching it. Make that two movies. Marnie fails in everything Hitchcock was trying to get it to run in. It seemed as if his whole ploy for this movie was to run it in a dry comical thriller sense, and with Connery in the lead role, who'd have thunk it would move so slow? We get an agonizingly long scene with Hedren and her character's mother, and a sense that her past is supposed to be interesting, but it just doesn't fly. Hedren's acting is very sub par (which might have something to do with her anger towards Hitchcock, that's been previously documented), and Connery can't help this boring movie that tries to be over-playful.
*.5 of *****

STAY PUT, 18-25.

2005-04-04T01:00:00.000-05:00

The original date of this entry was 10/3/04. It still makes sense, and wasn't really that popular on it's first trip across the internet-waves, so we post again.

Everyone gets to be twenty. Everyone gets to experience the life result of having lived through certain things that makes you smart, stupid, racist, gay, straight, tall or short. And everyone who gets into this funk of the bracket that's accessed through drop down menus in polls on the internet (18-25!, 26-32, ETC) gets stuck in the windfall that everyone before it has to deal with, the fact that in the twenties, you think you know everything, you believe you're smarter than everyone, and that everyone around you doesn't give a shit, or know exactly where you are in life. Even parents don't get it. Parents can sit there and look at you, the offspring of them and whomever they'd associated themselves with (which could have even been at the same age as you are right now) and not understand what the fuck is going on. Why? Why is it that parents don't understand in the first place? Is it something to do with being older and responsible and not sitting down and taking the time to realize that you're going through the exact same thing only with different surroundings?

Sure, some parents know. Some parents say "I went through this" or "When I was your age", but the thing about that is, when they were our age, they were sitting in our spots saying to themselves "oh Fuck, not this speech". Mind you some parents don't even get to that point because they figure that children can do it themselves or that the alcohol is too good but you catch my point.

And so the point of this all is what?

Where were we? Ah yes, the point. Well, let's see. The point of this whole deal is this: Every single age bracket has the tendacy to sit and look at itself in the fat sweaty mirror and ask why me? And I'll tell you why: Because as everyone already expects, you're here for a fucking reason. Whether it's to be the next president, rock star, or convict, you're here to fill a void. And it's all about how you get there. But why is the pressure on so much in your twenties?

If the average human's life span was say.. Oh, let's go with 80 because it's round, then why is the whole life set on getting everything perfectly planned before you're thirty? People have failed marriage, children out of wedlock and steal from other people moreso in this age bracket than any other [I assume, anyway], and yet we're also supposed to be the future of the generation because we can vote. But even in this case, if we're jobless and scratch our heads as we buy our next tab of acid to freak out for a few hours, so what? What's the point? What if the whole reason every single human is on this lab rat planet earth because we are, essentially lab rats, only technologically advanced enough to watch our own rats? Does it really matter if say, Joe from the next block has a better job than I do if 50 years from now he's still doing the same thing and people are saying to him "it's time to retire"? He could go through life without a breeze or a care because he set himself out right from the start, figured out his niche and went for it as others struggled.
Fuck him.
I'd rather get in trouble, have bad credit for a while, steal when I'm young and fuck around not knowing where I want to be. It makes the struggle that much more interesting a view when you can't figure out what you're going to look like. You can take the scenic route or the boring one and look haggard and old and be happy that you lived through your years, or end up living on a beach somewhere at 70 because you'd never lived a day outside of a suit and tie.

Times are changing and we don't need to be placed into a cut and dry place, pro-factory work like it was expected of everyone over 17 30 years ago. It does not happen anymore because not only are we more civilized, we're also more depraved. So the next time your mom asks you what mark you got on the last test, if she gets mad because you're not going to be a doctor so she can look at your life and smile as you sweat it out like a hog for thirty years, throw it in the garbage, and laugh because it's just another day in the cakewalk fantasy that ends up getting erased when your time is over and reset.

Now please move ahead. I must get busy and Cut new holes in a belt. The belt is perfect, the holes are just out of place.

Five Movies in Five Days Review.

2005-03-29T23:47:00.000-06:00

Normally I end up renting Six Movies for Seven Days for Ten Dollars. So what's the sense in just watching them and making you sit through them, when I can tell you all about them in the easiest way possible? Below are Five movies I sat through in Five Days. I have two more to watch in the Six in Seven case, and that might just be in the next section that I do for these reviews. If you'd like to see these reviews in a different format along with other ones I've done, Click Here. Enjoy.
Five Movies in Five Days Review:

Day One: Double Whammy
Denis Leary, Steve Buscemi, Elizabeth Hurley, Chris Noth
Ah, Denis Leary movies. They're always up for either fun and silly (The Ref, Suicide Kings), the kind of movie to make you nauseous (Two if by sea, Operation Dumbo Drop), or completely unexpected (Final). When you mix all three of them you tend to think you're bound to get something good, but alas, you get dissapointed. Here's where Double Whammy sets in. This is one of those kind of movies that has no plot and is filled with watchers saying "Hey, it's that guy!", and that's probably the most fun you get out of this one, save the occasional laugh wherebe there are a bunch of things I've never seen in a movie before (someone throwing darts to get away from Leary, Leary catching someone in the face with a fishing hook to get the crooks away from shooting someone). But the rest of the movie was complete and utter boredom. It was like when you watch Quantum Leap and go "AUUUGH another lame part!", only this was the whole movie. Howabout I add in the fact that other than the main two characters, there was NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! The only reason it got two stars was because the chemistry between Hurley and Leary made me feel okay.
** out of *****

Day Two: North By Northwest
Cary Grant, Martin Landau, Eva Marie Saint
Cary Grant never ceases to amaze me. Though I haven't seen a whole list of his movies (Only two: This and Charade), his wit and cool demeanor makes me realize that if I was a movie go-er in his time I'd pick him as the person I'd want to be like when I grew up. The movie's only downfall was that it seemed kind of on the long side, and once or twice I caught myself closing my eyes about 15 minutes from the end, but Grant's ability to keep me interested in this movie surpasses the idea that this was even a Hitchcock film. By the middle I'd completely forgotten, because the style seemed so different from all of Hitchcock's previous films I've seen (Psycho, Rope, Vertigo, et-al), and I was happy with the end result. A must see for fans of Bond movies, because this is the completely implausible way of telling the same kind of story.
**** out of *****

Day Three: Spoorloos(The Vanishing)
Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu, Gene Bervoets, Johanna ter Steege
If you look up this movie on IMDB, it's considered a very good thriller. If you look up it's remake (w/ Kiefer Sutherland), they say watch the original. And the verdict is that they're right, for the most part. The character development in this French/Dutch film is fantastic in that this is the first time I've ever been drawn to the evil character, but the lag time in the movie slows it down immensely, which is it's only problem. While trying to get you to know the man behind the mysterious dissapearance of a Dutchman's girlfriend, some parts of the film drag on to no end, and then pick up finally after one specific scene, being a car-ride where it picks up and doesn't fail. When the Dutchman finally meets the evil man, the dialog and scenes are impeccable, leading up to an astonishing ending that made me feel very empty. A great thriller, even after the long, drawn out parts. Also look for a scene in this movie that is reshot almost perfectly in Kill Bill 2.
*** out of *****

Day Four: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
Robert DeNiro, Kenneth Branagh, Helena Bonham Carter
Did you like Wild Wild West, and how outlandish it was? Are you a fan of terrible movies? Do you think movies are sometimes better than the book? Than this movie is for you. Never have I seen a more disturbingly terrible translation of book to movie than in this case. The acting was more than sub par, the scenery outlandish, and not for one second was it ever terrifying. These are the kind of movies you'd leave, or throw your popcorn at. The worst part about it all was that DeNiro's makeup and version of the Monster was promising, but cut short behind a muddle of boredom and sped up story, if only to put a beautiful book into two hours of over dramaticized slaughtering that only came to an end when the fast forward button or skip scene button would be pressed, just to get me out of the anger I felt towards specific scenes.

See the original Frankenstein. Sure, it doesn't follow the book and is more based on a play than this version, but the acting is strong, and Karloff's monster, though silent, is a much more believable being.
0 out of *****

Day Five: Be Cool
John Travolta, Uma Thurman, The Rock
As much as I expected Be Cool to suck, it didn't really. Kind of caught me off guard. I wouldn't really want to ever see it again, mind you, but it's not that bad of a movie, with the strongest and most fun performance out of anyone being The Rock. I was surprised pleasantly how much fun he seemed to have as this character, and so too were the people around me.

Strange cameos though, throughout the movie kind of made it seem like they were just adding up a bunch of one trick pony jokes in order to keep the viewer in it, along with lame jokes, and odd racial slurs with bad timing. It's nothing to write home about, but the kind of movie you'd expect to be seeing on Sunday afternoon television.
** out of *****

Action = reaction / counteraction

2005-03-25T00:02:00.000-06:00

The thing I don't understand about people is the effect that another person has on them. I'm almost twenty six and I haven't really even figured out how interactions between people really work. There's some situations that I walk away from and think to myself what just happened? I'd like to take a year off of work and study reactions and counter-reactions in people, if only to wonder why everyone continuously messes up everyone else in a large and or small scale. Wars, Fights, Confusion, Firings, Molestation, Talking, Women, everything.

Everything revolves around a reaction and a counter-reaction in conversation form, or even glances, depending on the situation. I'm more prone to think that the popularity of someone is more dependant upon their reactions to things than what they look like, or who they're friends with (consequently, a bevvy of good reactions to someone else could constitute why people are friends).

So how would people figure out to right wrongs? How would reactions get into a fixed state where there are no misunderstandings? It wouldn't happen. People are too fixated on things that they like and dislike, which is where conversation starts, and reactions become the basis on how the conversation goes. I like this, you hate it. We both hate this, you like that. This food sucks, that girl's cute.

I won't even enter the area of religion, politics, or racism, mostly because the whole idea of those three being the brunt of everything that's bad about reactions that counter-turns itself into something much larger kind of makes me say "Huh?"

Maybe, of course I'm thinking about this way too much, which is probably a reaction to the caffeine I've been inhaling today. In this case, writing this is the counter-reaction, and I haven't even gotten into the science of Nuclear Reactions et al. Hm.

Girls, cars, circles, and money.

2005-03-18T04:31:00.000-06:00

According to IMDB.com, Herbie has a new movie. That's right, the love bug is coming out of retirement and dealing with a 19 going on 30 year old singer/actress, Lindsay Lohan. The name of the movie? Herbie: Fully loaded. The Plot? Get this:

Maggie Peyton (Lohan), the new owner of Number 53 - the free-wheelin' Volkswagen bug with a mind of its own - puts the car through its paces on the road to becoming a NASCAR competitor.

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Now let me explain something first, that I'm a NASCAR fan. I have been for a few years.

But they drive in circles.

I know, it's more than that. That's like saying that skiiers just.. go down slopes, or curlers throw rocks, or golfers hit little balls. It's only half of the story/sport. And yes, I do believe NASCAR is a sport, as much as you can call a leisurely walk through a large grassy area searching for a little white ball a sport, only in this case these people are fit humans who work out on a daily basis. Right.

But they drive in circles.

I thought we were past that. But they bounce a ball, But soccer is the real football, but all they do is skate. To each their own. NASCAR is the fastest growing sport in the United States, behind the NFL and the NBA, and gets broadcast worldwide, so they must be doing something right.

But reviving Herbie is just plain wrong. Everybody loved the little Disney-mobile that could talk, and drive, and have feeling, regardless of how lame "Goes Bananas", "Goes to Monte Carlo", and to a lesser extent "The Matchmaker" were, people were having fun with it, Don Knotts made me cry, but all in all it was silly, decent fun.

And since Hollywood is basically fresh out of ideas, they decide to trample on an old classic and bring it to life with a new twist in Dale Earnhardt Jr, Rusty Wallace (who had a bit part in Days of Thunder), and Jamie McMurray.

I was going to get on a tirade, a vengeful one about how terribly wrong this is, and how the best part about the movie had better be Lohan driving the vehicle straight into one of these:

but that's just wrong, if only for the kids, I guess. Something tells me that Disney Wanted to be on the cutting edge here, but to go at it with Lohan and NASCAR, sounds to me like what you'd have if you mixed hockey with Emilio Estevez.

Oh dear.

Raging paranoia and gripping reality

2005-03-14T03:25:00.000-06:00

The hardest thing to learn about someone, anyone, people in general, is when they do something that just does not compute in your brain. "There's got to be a right way," you say to yourself, "some other way to just run off into the sunset and keep the surfaces clean". But in cases like these, there aren't.

I've been writing off and on (mostly off lately, things have been weird around this area, and I'd rather not), about Hunter and what he meant to me, and if you really want to know what I said after the fact and before my head cleared, Read this. To be honest it still makes complete sense, but then I've had to sit around and chunk through the idea that everything related to him is going to completely change for the rest of my fandom.

Though in a sense that's a selfish statement, the people that clammer together after a death if only because everyone else is doing it maddens me to some extent. My bookshelf and DVD pile questionment has significantly changed since one late evening in February, shooting constant reminders that people either want to really "Buy the ticket, take the ride", or are just in it to see if the ticket is available for exchange, if the ride gets too bumpy.

Celebrity death is always a strange and terrible time to be a fan if you were beforeso, because everyone clammers together in a mud pit and exclaims love for people they've never met. It's kind of like having your uncle that was estranged from the family (who still wrote letters to the public but you identified) pass away, and everyone else considered him a part of the family.

Whine, Whine, Bitch, Bitch.

For me, it's been a strange time to even think about him, and reading over some lines in books, and watching the movies with a crowd of people who accidentally had discussions through the best parts of the films were kind of strange. It adds to the story, best bet being. Not that I was angry with them, they were trying to figure everything out on their own terms. But there's something that doesn't sit right with me and it's not the fact that he went out the way he did, because even people that weren't completely familiar with who he was knew that he had to go out with a bang, but it's just that something so dear to me has .. stopped. There are two more movies in the works, mind you, and a number of unreleased material that Hunter's left at Woody Creek, but it's not that. Maybe I'll never figure out why someone so completely in another world made so much sense to me, or has impacted me so much throughout the past ten years, and maybe I won't lighten up about all of the lending, but then again, maybe someday it'll smack me right in the face again, like it did before, that this was the right thing for him, and in turn, it makes it right for everyone else.

Pop culture's overhaul

2005-03-10T15:15:00.000-06:00

I wasn't planning on continuously updating this savage beast, but there was something that told me that Stevie Wonder might want me to do it, for him and the kids.

I work in a call center, where not everyone is well versed with most things as others are, but some things about music should be commonly known: Raffi is for kids, Yanni is for mothers, and Stevie Wonder is blind.

Natch, on that last one, for you see this is the EXACT QUOTE of someone I know, and was having conversation with (though not much longer afterwards).

"Stevie Wonder isn't blind, he just has a neck problem".

Stop laughing. She was serious. She also continued to say, and again, I quote this:

"I won't believe it until I see a movie on it", as well as "He was on TV shows, walking around"

To which I could only respond that Ray Charles could drive a car (Number 5). Not only did she not believe this, but she'd also told me that she really didn't know who he was, even after seeing the movie. And as I work in a call center, the first thing I could do was throw off my headset in a fit of confusion and anger at the situation. How could someone not know this? It's easy to see (pardon the pun). But have people started de-generating into dumb beasts? What is it that makes people not be able to see the truth even when it's staring at them in the face about someone else, that they'd rather take it upon themselves to deny the obvious? To me it was as if she was trying to convince me that she really didn't know that Britney Spears can't sing, or that Elvis Presley got fat. It just doesn't make sense.

People in this generation will most likely be remembered as the kind of people who like what's quick and fast, whether it's music, television, movies, or food. Think about it. Lay it all out.

"I want to buy the new Britney"
"Let's watch that new reality show"
"American Pie 6, sounds great!"
"MM, Mcdonalds has subs. Fuck Subway!"

I don't get it, it just does not compute. So I've gotten off track, and I blame .. myself. I'll try and sum it up as quick as possible. Why does this bother me so much? Why does it get to me?

I guess it's because I'd like to think of myself as a somewhat smart person who can pick and choose and see who knows what and who doesn't, but this one I clearly missed. I'm sorry Stevie, but I'm going to stop believing you're blind. Come to think of it, let's forget you'd ever gotten into that car accident which turned you partly into a music god. Songs in the key of life? Didn't happen, until I see it in a two hour movie by some actor pretending to be you.

Fuck books, where's a movie screen?

General Patton Vs X-Ecutioners

2005-03-08T15:58:00.000-06:00

"What would you do if a vicious enemy started coming at you, armed to the teeth, and ready to kill you?"

The one thing you know when you invest yourself in an album that includes Mike Patton, is that you're always getting something just a little bit stranger than your regular set of musicians. He has the savvy to make anything weird, and with the X-Ecutioners, this album has the tendacy for the average listener who's even vaguely familiar with Patton asking themselves, "Well, where are the X-Ecutioners in this?". That's the only problem I find with this set of 23 tracks, which I still find hard to believe that it was listed in the 'rap section'.

Normally when you pick up an album in that section, you'd find something full of straight songs, beats, and lyrics., but this gets almost nowhere close. There aren't very many songs with lyrics (and the ones that are are quite fun), where the rest of it is full of numerous vocal tracks, beat boxing, screaming, random noises, and silly lyrics that provide the listener with a bevvy of unexpected fun, if you can make it by all of the avante garde tracks that test the listener.

But at the same time, it's very easily accesible. It's something you'd throw on to an ususpecting friend in the car ride home, leaving them either completely baffled, or enjoying it, which is more than one could say for any of the man's earlier work (besides FNM).

All in all it's everything you expect from Mike Patton, only this time around, he sounds like he's having too much fun.

Download these:
A.W.O.L. BLOCK PARTY BRAWL 0600 hrs.
L.O.L.-- !LOSER ON LINE! (hate the player, hate the game)
!VAQUEROS Y INDIOS! (joint special operations task force)

What a scapegoat looks like

2005-03-05T13:29:00.000-06:00

I'm going to open this Blog with something I've already said once before, but that needs to be re-iterated to it's fullest extent:

After talking to someone earlier tonight about Avril Lavigne on Kimmel ("at least she's singing"), I've wondered exactly to myself, why them? I mean even I got caught up in knowing that girl, it was true (yes, even me. I was young and Peter Gabriel wasn't enough). But why them for scapegoats, and why isn't it that big of a deal now?

It seems strange to me that in some cases, if they can act, then people can say "Hey, you're pretty cute. Let's get you in an overproduced video and sex up your image a bit. Kids will love it!". There's no talent in that, and there certainly isn't talent in going on to any tv show and mucking up your lines, whether you're Ashlee, Jessica, Hillary, or Lohan. Some of these have been 'caught' stealing their way into things by doing it, or by riding along trying to make sure that everyone's beaten or smoke-screened into thinking that they didn't just turn on the "EDIT SOUND" button and turn them into superstars. It's been happening since Britney's gaffes, and even way before that. I'd really like to know how many artists aren't really doing what they're supposed to be doing, or what they have us believe. That's why music is shit today. That's why it's okay to have talentless people in the scene because hey, at least they look good. Sex appeal can bring in the money where real talent doesn't exist.

So even when you sit there and hate Avril, at least she sings her own songs. And Milli Vanilli? Pioneers.

The ball's in your court. Prove me wrong, girls.